My Dirty Monday

The Berman Venus G-spot Stimulator

Venus, if you will. Please send a little girl for me to thrill...

~Frankie Avalon~

Well, this little girl wasn't thrilled with this vibe that sounded like a weed whacker. Seriously, I have not had a lot of time home alone for weeks now. Which is hugely strange and very stressful for me. I took advantage of a bit of it by doing a test run with one of my sex toys. I chose the Berman G-spot stimulator Venus. About half way into my self love date, I got the giggles imagining what it would be like if I were *not* home alone. My god. Road flares and a marching band would be less obvious.

And I must say, this bad girl is multi-speed. Just on low it sounded like I could take care of the hedges. But the highest speed...ever wonder what a swarm of angry killer bees sounds like? I can describe it to you now.

I feel bad saying this, I really, really do. I was so excited about the Venus. And I do have to say, the toy is good at its job. It did what it was intended to do in spades. A really good G-spot orgasm. It was simply a matter of getting past the noise. The enormous vibrating hum that practically shouted: I AM GETTING OFF IN HERE, PEOPLE! It was a bit distracting.

Let me put it this way, it hits all the right places and delivers the results, but if you are looking to pack a discreet little vibe for some very quiet intimate self love moments on vacations...this is not what you want in your suitcase. Nor will you quietly get your before bedtime orgasm with your man snoring next to you, oblivious. This will wake him as surely as a good punch to the forehead or a kick in the groin. This is the kind of vibrator that would only be discreet at the Super Bowl or in the middle of a Metallica concert.

If you're going for low key, there are other vibes that will do the same job but with a lot less volume. If all you care about is results, then go for it. I SAID, THEN GO FOR IT!!

XOXO
Sommer