I received a very nice review over at NOR. And it was very nice. It was very pleasant, just like my read. But it wasn't great. The first review was great. Okay, not great. The first one was fucking awesome.
This all brings me to my Achilles' heel as a writer and a person in general. I am a perfectionist, type A, people pleasing mofo and I hate when I am not the best, most wonderful, most perfect out there.
Which is illogical, irrational and just plain stupid. I know that.
This need to be what I perceive as the best has tripped me up more in life than I care to admit. It has a lot to do with long bouts of anxiety, that asstard the cave dweller, and me worrying that I am never ever ever going to be good enough. Whatever enough is.
This need to be what I perceive as the best has tripped me up more in life than I care to admit. It has a lot to do with long bouts of anxiety, that asstard the cave dweller, and me worrying that I am never ever ever going to be good enough. Whatever enough is.
Why am I telling you this, dear reader? Because sometimes I even get tired of yay this and yay that and they said this nice thing etc. That is good. That is fucking great! But it is also realistic and the right thing to do to allow you to see this side of me, since you come here day in and day out and travel through this crazy-ass chaos with me. The I got 3.25 out of 5 stars and would like to go beat my head against the wall now side of moi.
Why would a nice, flattering review make me want to do that? I have no clue! Because I'm special and think I should always be in the very top of everything (which is total b.s.)?
The very nice reviewer said: This was a fun story to read. I loved what happened after Nix pulled Grant from the creek. I found it to be an entertaining storyline and I anxiously couldn’t wait to see how it ended. I enjoyed getting to know more about Grant and what happened to him at different stages of the story. Overall, this was an enjoyable read.
She did not say: this book sucked ass go kill yourself if you bought it.
So, I am officially, at two days from turning 38 on the 1st of December saying, I no longer expect perfection from myself. I will learn to be happy with good and great and awesome. Wherever I fall in that scale.
I will now go polish my shiny "pleasant read" and be happy with it. As any sane person would be.
Dammit.
XOXO
Sommer
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8 comments:
If nothing else, congrats on the positive review. I think it never is easy putting yourself out there - it doesn't matter if you're a perfectionist even. I think it's in part the hope that people think better of one than oneself does - especially if one is self critical. "As good as" isn't, and "not quite as good as" is awful.
Hey, that's a good review!
And ya know what?
You are awesome, amazing, fantastic, supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!
And I am blessed beyond measure to count you as a friend.
So there.
And Happy Early Birthday. *mwah*! ;)
AND I'm sending you something in the mail Monday!! ;) It'll be a little late(sorry, couldn't find the right size box!)...but it'll get there nonetheless!
thx, Monocle & and thanks for coming. welcome :)
You rock, Scarlet. I think i'm the lucky one to have you on my side :)
now I am all atwitter over my birthday gift! whatever will it be? and is he nekkid? X-D
xoxo
s
mwahaha...you'll just have to wait and see!
When you put your work out, naked like that, anything other than, "We love you," is hard to hear. But I am all with SG—you are supercalifrag... etc.
Although, from your crazy California friend, I have to quibble with that part where you call yourself sane. Heh.
XXX,
AT
yes, sane was a stretch ;)
i think that is it. i just want people to <3 me and it is hard when they simply like me as a friend (o_O)
xoxo
s
I heart you Sommer. But I am an underachiever... I don't know if you can handle that :)
Perhaps if you counter review the review, it might help you deal. Oh yeah? Well, I give this review 3.2 ducks out of 5. why ducks? Dunno.
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