Unzip your pants. Show me your cock…

Welcome to the Blow Hard Tour 2009! If you have been waiting, yay you! If you're here by accident, yay you, also! Pull up a chair, have a read, weigh in on how you feel about blow jobs for the sake of blow jobs. Follow us for over a week (wow) as some very sexy writers wax poetic about all things oral. And in the mix, you will find there is a big prize at the end. No. Not that. But it is pretty fucking fantastic. I will track comments over the tour, toss them all in a bowl, stir and voila! A winner will be chosen. In the meantime, join us on our uh...ride.

I’m giving you this one because I adore the blow job scene in Fire Woman. I’m giving you this one because I think I pretty much had my say that fateful day when I went off about something a friend had said.

No. A blow job--to me, mind you--is not just a means to an end. It is not the treat you give the man to earn your orgasm.

To me the blow job is power and submission. Art and love and lust and pleasure in motion. How can my tongue curling along his cock make him jump that way? How can the smell of him make me want to go faster, longer, deeper? How can the sounds he make stir my insides as surely as his own tongue or finger or cock could?

I have no idea, but it does. The noises he makes when I get him right there and then make him wait. I think there are times I’ve nearly come from listening. The way he sounds and looks and moves when I’m sucking his cock is the epitome of sexy to me. Truly.

The response to my little “No Woman” blog was staggering. So many women came out to say, “Hell, yeah!”. On the blog and behind the scenes. Soon, I had so many positive comments, I wanted to harness all that. And thanks to some poking from one of my very best friends, the Blow Hard Tour was born. Those women who stepped right up to shout, we love to blow! were invited to come and play with us. What happened then was history. There are pins and tees and a prize packet. It’s a good, messy, sticky time if you ask me.

So, here you go, I choose Fire Woman from Playing With Fire as my tour story. It’s written from a male POV and it is one that I hope comes close, so to speak. My man proofed it for me before I subbed it for the book. He gave me the nod of approval. And then he gave me something else, but that is another blog.

My character, she does it because she wants it. Wants his cock in her mouth as surely as she wants it in her body. Which is something I can relate to. It’s a simple scene. Not pages and pages of details. But it is hot. To me. It’s very, very hot. And that is what fire and blow jobs have in common. The hot factor. Just ask a man who’s been sucked but good by his woman. (I've marked it with the tour logo if you want to skip right to the good stuff, btw).

Underneath it all, I’m a very nice girl. I am sweet and kind and funny and yes, sometimes I am very, very shy. Painfully so at times, if you must know. But shy or not, I’m not ashamed to say, at heart--I am, and always will be, a real cocksucker.

Tomorrow is the Alison Tyler stop on our tour. You'll have no problem seeing her. She'll be the jaw dropping brunette in red. Most likely wearing a pin that says "Blow Me". Heh heh.

XOXO
Sommer


Fire Woman
Sommer Marsden

story removed by blog author.

Blow Hard Tour dates:

Sommer Marsden March 31st
Alison Tyler April 1st (no joke)
Dakota Rebel April 2nd
Erobintica April 3rd
Cora Zane April 4th
Heidi Champa April 5th
EllaRegina April 6th
Marina St. Clare April 7th
Emerald April 8th
Kristina Wright April 9th
Isabel Kerr April 10th
Neve Black Aprill 11th

hallelujah!

It's alive! Alive! Last night it could not find its own operating system [OPERATING SYSTEM NOT FOUND...OPERATING SYSTEM NOT FOUND...] and now it is working. Amen! Hallelujah! I am not asking how. I do not questions miracles. I do not look a gift laptop in the mouth.

I'm still going forward with a new PC over the next few weeks, but damn, I have to say when it sprang to life (heh heh, that sounds dirty) this afternoon, I did a happy fucking dance right there in the living room!

XOXO
Sommer

The Pre-Come Blog...

Tomorrow is the day. Tomorrow! And my computer crashed last night. Crashed, died, bit the big one, shuffled off this mortal coil, cashed in its chips, went belly up...expired. Luckily this pic was on my camera. I have no idea how much I lost, and I am still in a kind of fuzzy headed, calm, rational haze. I keep waiting to freak out and it has not happened. Yet.

Anyhoo, here is the prize packet! Fab, yes? One lucky winner will run off with a Blow Hard #69 red (it is true red) tee from yours truly. A Blow Hard Tour 2009 pin, Blow Pops, Playing With Fire edited by Alison Tyler signed by me because I love my blow job scene in Fire Woman and the book is smoking hot, Tasting Her and Tasting Him edited by RKB (donated by Cleis Press), a copy of the Ultimate Guide to Fellatio and The Ultimate Guide to Cunnilingus edited by Violet Blue (donated by Cleis Press), a tin of Stimula lube for Him from Access RX(check out the link for their free Stimulus package ;)) . Also, the winner will receive a separate shipment from the awesomely generous folks at sextoy.com containing A Blow Guard and some oral lubes by Pipe Dreams!

Now to explain my counting system:

So here's how I do a countdown. Let's pretend it December 20th and we are counting down to Christmas. Kay? Well, if you follow my Sommer way of counting we do not count the 20th because if it *is* the 20th, then that day is partially over already so why count it!? You do not count the eve. Clearly Xmas Eve is technically Christmas anyway. So on the 20th you have three days left until Christmas. See? Not the 20th, 21, 22, 23, 24th...nope. You simply count the 21, 22 and 23rd. So that is how I did my Blow Hard Tour Countdown.

And the man kept saying, "No...you need to do this like a rocket countdown. You do not go, four, three, two, one...one...blast off"
I said, "Pshaw!"
Until yesterday. Then I said, "Shit."
And he said, "See."
And I said, stuff you do not want to know.

The point is that tomorrow is the day people! And below is our lineup and I have a surprise or two at the end! Yay!

Sommer Marsden March 31st

Alison Tyler April 1st (no joke)

Dakota Rebel April 2nd

Erobintica April 3rd

Cora Zane April 4th
Heidi Champa April 5th

EllaRegina April 6th

Marina St. Clare April 7th

Emerald April 8th
Kristina Wright April 9th

Isabel Kerr April 10th

Neve Black Aprill 11th

XOXO

Sommer

one...

more day to go! Which means most of you will be thinking it starts tomorrow, right? No. Wrong. Tomorrow is the one more day, and it's my prologue blog and I will a) explain my very special Sommer way of counting (duh) and b) will give you a peek at the prize packet. I'm telling you, one lucky reader/commenter is going to be flooded with sexy oral related goodies!

Okay, today's blow job snippet comes from that sexy UK redhead (bet she can count) Kristina Lloyd! KL has a special knack. She can unsettle me, turn me on and make me laugh all in the space of a few heartbeats. Which means I love her writing. I lost my Black Lace cherry when Lust At First Bite came out and my story "There's A Sucker Born Every Minute" was included. When I did a read through of the antho this was one of my favorite stories. From "The Funhouse Is Closed Mondays"...

Christophe gave an arrogant laugh. 'This ain't a floor show, lady,' he said, crossing to her. 'This ain't a pleasure palace. This ain't the fucking movies! This is about me. Me! Me and my dick. It ain't about you or what you want to watch. You don't count for jack shit. You getting that, missy?'

Christophe unzipped.

Suzanne smiled nervously and licked her lips.

"Now suck my cock, bitch. Show me you got the message.'

Simeon would have intervened to protect Suzanne's honour except he knew she didn't have any. Besides, if he squared up to Christophe, he'd end up the fool on the floor. This guy was twice his size, twice as solid, a statistic so hot it hurt.

Suzanne dropped to her knees. 'Message received loud and clear.'

Simeon throbbed with lust as he watched Christophe grasp Suzanne's hair, his forearms bulging as he held her steady in his grip. With slow showmanship, he eased his cock into her mouth, clearly revelling in his power and strength. Suzanne drew back and began slipping along his length, raising her eyes to him in search of approval. Christophe offered none.

'You enjoying that, huh?' he asked as if he was doing her a favour.

In response, Suzanne slurped faster and deeper until Christophe stilled her. He clamped her head in his hands and began driving harder and harder, neat hips thrusting against her face, his silver cross winking in the gloom. Suzanne spluttered once or twice, hands flapping in a weak gesture of surrender, but she was on her knees and she liked it nasty.

Simeon standing there like a spare part with a boner in his pants, was wildly envious.

'You want cock?" asked Christophe, turning to him without breaking his thrust. 'Huh? You want a taste of my cock, boy?'

Simeon bridled at the 'boy' reference-he was nearly 300 years old!-but he was horny enough not to allow dignity to hamper his lust.

'The name's Simeon,' he said coolly, drawing himself up taller. 'You know who I am, Christophe. And you know that I always want cock.' He flicked his sleek black locks and gave a stiff smile. 'And fortunately for you, I'm not too fussy whose."

Whew. I will be in the funhouse if you need me.

XOXO
Sommer

two...

days to go and I'm all aquiver! Another lovely hummer snippet to amuse you. You can read the rest of Barber Shop Girl by clicking the link. It's the man's birthday so I am running late. I got distracted--hummmmmm...
XOXO
Sommer
~~~

His look turned serious. “Page 117-- He touched my hair, my neck, my face before kissing me deeply.”

Oh shit. He was reading me my own fiction. He was throwing my dirty fantasies right back at me. And part of me knew right then that this had been some kind of confession. Bringing him the magazine. “I…” I could barely hear my own voice.

“Like this?” Rob said and did just what I had described. His fingers running over me made me moan softly and when his lips touched mine, I opened my mouth for him wantonly. I sucked his tongue and he stepped in closer, crowding me in the chair with his bulk. The chair rocked slowly with the movement.

He broke the kiss and I felt thrilled and guilty and dirty all at once. It only made it worse. My want of him. My need of him. I wanted him inside of me and so in my mind, I willed him to read further. He rifled the pages more and found another passage he liked. “He pulled at his button fly. Yanked until the buttons popped one by one, his big hand reaching behind the curtain of denim and finding his hard cock. He pulled himself free, guiding his hard length to my lips. I opened my mouth for him, sucked him deep. He tasted so warm and so sweet.”

When Rob looked at me, he looked dazed. Slightly drunk with excitement and arousal. “Let me show you,” I said and felt a thrill travel through me. “If you’ll pop those buttons,” I said, forcing my voice to be braver than I felt.

He found the top button and released it. With a yank, the rest let go with a soft sound. He pushed his hand inside and pulled his cock free. Long and hard and a flush of crimson at the head.
“Put it to my mouth,” I said. More bravery.

He made a low sound. The kind of sound that raised goose bumps on my shoulders. And then he pushed the velvety soft skin of his cock to my lips. I licked him slowly, eyes on his eyes. I would pretend to be brazen. Inside I was shaking and shivering and reveling at my request. He tasted like hot skin and soap and man. I ran my flattened tongue along the rigid length of him, sucked him deeper, finding my hands clutching at his ass of their own accord.

He fucked my mouth, one hand in my hair, one holding the magazine. “Stop, Piper. Wait.” His voice was torn. I could tell he wanted to keep going but he needed to do something else.

He cleared his throat and I had to smile. He was so cute when he was flustered. “I opened my thighs for him. Wider when he told me to. I watched the top of his dark head as he lowered his face between my legs, licked along the ridge of me. Sucking my clit into his mouth, letting me go for just a moment. Then wild circles that had me clutching at the bed sheets and dancing under him. A wild marionette on the verge of orgasm. He licked me until I sobbed and came against his darkly stubble face. Clutching his hair. Saying his name.”

I hung my head, too afraid at the moment to face him. He brushed my hair out of my face, and tilted my chin back. “Is this about me?”

I could only nod.

What's better than hot afternoon sex?

Better than I took the day off and no one is here and you can be as loud as you need to baby sex? Nothing! Not one damn thing...

But this is pretty awesome too! Wanna know who inspired my story "The Scream Queen" in The Mile High Club edited by Rachel Kramer Bussel? Go see. I bet you didn't guess right. ;)

XOXO
Sommer

three...

Day three of our countdown is brought to you by the letter P. As in P.S. Haven. If ever there was an ambassador of the blow job, Haven's the man. Need someone to wax poetic, defend, argue in favor of and try to examine and explain just how good oral loving is? He. Is. Your. Guy. No one writes the bj quite like Haven. And he drives a smoking car. And he's and artist and...*gasp*! Is it hot in here?

~~~

From "Out of the Frying Pan" which appears in Playing With Fire edited by Alison Tyler...


The minutes began to accumulate. My mind raced. What if he was making her do more? I thought. What if she was doing other things? What if he lied to me? And then the absurdity of that thought hit me. What if I can’t trust him? My cock was in his wife’s mouth, my semen in her stomach, not 24 hours ago. And I was worried about me trusting him?

I tried not to listen for them, listen for their sounds. Then, just as purposefully, I would try to. I tried to hear Janet’s breathing, her moans. The wet noises of her mouth. But I heard nothing. Not a sound.

Five minutes pass. Then ten.

With a struggle that bordered on panic I tried not to imagine what was happening behind that door. Then, just as fervently, I would try to picture just that.

Was she on her knees, staring at him, staring into his eyes, like she always does with me? Was she whispering to him about how big it was and how good it felt in her mouth and how wonderful it tasted, like she does with me? Was she mewling and purring and letting out little gasps now and then, begging him in a breathless sigh to come in her mouth. Were her wet green eyes glittering up at him, wanting praise and encouragement, needing direction, needing to be told what to do and how long to do it? Was she following every order, like the good girl she is? Was she going all the way down when he told her to? When he gave the command, did she go underneath and lick his balls, go further down still and lap at his asshole?

Or was he coaxing her, coaching her to do it the way Lynn does it? Was she on all fours for him, heart-shaped ass sticking up behind her, mouth plunging down over his cock again and again? Was she going down until the head of his cock lodged in her throat, blocking her air, making her heave and gag, making her eyes flood and her mascara stream in tributaries of black watercolor down her cheeks? Was she devouring him, consuming him, starved for him, the way Lynn was starved for me last night? Was she sucking his cock like making him come was the only thing in the universe at that moment in time, like she’d die of hunger if she didn’t get it?

Was he has hard as I was? Was he fucking Janet’s mouth the way I fucked Lynn’s? Was he riding her face, using her mouth like it was a cunt? Is he making it quite clear that this was not a blowjob she was giving him, but rather a blowjob he was taking from her? Was his cock straining in her mouth, swelling and pulsing like it would burst? When he comes, would the air rush from his lungs, would he take the Lord’s name in vain with one breath, then thank Him with the very next? Would he babble my wife’s name ridiculously over and over and over again as he helplessly ejaculated into her sucking mouth, the way I did with his?

Mmm. That was nice. Come back tomorrow for day two. You just never know what kind of saucy little snippet I'll throw at you next...and don't forget our lineup starting soon. Soon!

Sommer Marsden March 31st
Alison Tyler April 1st (no joke)
Dakota Rebel April 2nd
Erobintica April 3rd
Cora Zane April 4th
Heidi Champa April 5th
EllaRegina April 6th
Marina St. Clare April 7th
Emerald April 8th
Kristina Wright April 9th
Isabel Kerr April 10th
Neve Black Aprill 11th

XOXO
Sommer
p.s. my 'three' image is the Three Graces. It is the coolest three image I could find...

Confession...

I have a hard time sitting still when I watch him on TV. I have a hard time sitting still when he takes someone to task. I hold my breath when he gives someone what for. It drives me insane, how his voice goes softer and deeper when he's angry. Not a screamer, this one. And I bite my lip because of the way everyone says, "Yes, Marco."

The man just laughs at me. "Look at you. If you squirm any more you're gonna fall right off the sofa."

True. Fucking. Story.

So, I lean in and say, "Talk to me like that. Talk to me like that upstairs. Hurry."

XOXO
Sommer

four...

Only four days to go to blow. This snippet is from "How He Likes Me" which appears in the breathtakingly good

L is for Leather edited by Alison Tyler...


“Go ahead,” I hear Charles say as he works more cold lube into my rear end. He can’t see my face but he seems to read my mind and with his permission, I open my mouth an lick the diamond sized drop of pre-come off of Tom. Tom grunts like an animal.

I’m not prepared for it when it comes. It’s the first time ever. Charles spanks me with his leather hands, for now I consider the gloves an extension of him. It’s softer than a hand to ass spank but it has a bite of its own. A gentle punishment. The sting is somehow buffered but just as intense.

I lick at Tom, the sudden pain making me hungry.

“All the way,” Charles says to me, “take him all the way into your mouth. Suck him.”

So I raise my head and do as I’m told. I let Tom slide into my mouth. I tongue the hard ridges and soft skin of his erection. He tastes like cotton and salt.

Charles pushes the head of his cock against my ass and it makes it worse. The fire inside of me grows hungrier still and I swallow Tom mindlessly. My tongue works of its own accord as his hands, the hands of a stranger, take a trip over my body and back.

Charles presses into me, giving that brief reprieve where my body stretches to accommodate. Gives me that moment of calm where my insides relax and accept him. I don’t let myself think because the fullness there is too good. Too good to think about the logistics of sucking the dick of a man I don’t know, while the man I love watches.

“Good, baby girl. Good,” Charles says and I think I might come from the words alone.

He’s gripping my hips. He’s fucking my ass. He’s watching me with a gaze I swear I can feel heat my skin. Another report of the leather on my ass. Another spank. That muffled pain. I suck at Tom for me and for Charles. To please him. It’s a messy blow job, noisy and inelegant. Just the way I like it.

Tom has lost his manners and is fucking my mouth. Pounding between my lips like he wants me to swallow him whole. I suck air through my nose and force myself back against Charles. I want him deeper there. I want his leather hands on my clit. I want him in my cunt. I want him to fill me in every way possible but there is only one of him and so many ways for him to own me.

XOXO
Sommer

p.s. Hope this is my 'clean' copy of this. I am dashing today. Although, heh heh, 'clean' is relative, no? ;)

"If it sounds like writing, I rewrite it."

Best writing book ever written. If you have ten minutes on your hands, read it. Then read it again.

Elmore Leonard's 10 Rules of Writing [ELMORE LEONARDS 10 RULES OF WR]should be over your desk and mine at all times. All times!


XOXO
Sommer

five days...

I never know whether to count the day of or not. So I won't. Which means-- Only five days to go...let's count down, shall we?

I am only doing this because, in my own way, I love Derrick too. We had something once upon a time. I thought I really loved him. But he was incapable of loving me. Not in a good way. It was all dark, clinging love. And then we were fuck buddies because Derrick is mad in the sack. He is like some caged animal who wants to see and taste and hear and snort fucking. It is a beautiful experience if you're not attached. Now he is my friend. I love him, so I am her. I'm Emily. For tonight.

"Roll for me, D." I sink to my knees in front of the threadbare sofa. I rub my hand up his back, barely touching him. The touch of a ghost. Which is what I am pretty much. The ghost of Emily.

He turns his head and peeks at me with one bloodshot eye. A small boy peeking from under the covers to see if I'm friend or foe. The tooth fairy -- or the boogie man.

"Please," I say and touch the small of his back. I tug his black studded belt with my finger and lick my lips because I know he's watching.

I know the details of Derrick and Emily. I know because I have listened to countless drunken recitations of her skills at blow jobs. How soft and tight her cunt was. How big her tits were. That she knew how to stick her finger up his ass just enough to make him come, and then come again. I have endured all of these tales of sex and woe and then had to deal with clumsy half-assed attempts at kissing me. But this is different.

In my own way, I love Derrick. He loves Emily. He needs this. I can give it to him. So for tonight, he has what he needs. It's simple math really. I want to split him open emotionally and let the blackness pour out. But this is all I can do. A fucking band aid.

"Will you?" he says to my lips.

I nod and the short fake bangs tickle my forehead. "You know I love it. Come on, sit up for me."

"Can I just roll, Em? I'm tired. So tired."

I nod and the sides of the wig tickle my cheeks, like fucking spiders are crawling on me. From the act of impersonation and the wig itself. I have to bite my tongue to keep from freaking out. But then Derrick turns and I see how thin he's gone and the hollows under his eyes and I know I can do this. It's only one night. He touches my cheek and I close my eyes. Mostly because my eyes are blue and Emily's are a deep smoky gray. Partly because his touch is so reverent. As if I am sacred. "Baby," he says.

I pull at the buckle and he raises his hips for me. Finally, his cock is free and I bend over him. Smell the dark smell of despair and submission coming from him. I lick at the head of his cock and he hisses like I've burned him. His head falls back and he's touching my hair. Only with his fingertips. Like I might disappear if he touches me fully. I lower my mouth onto him. Take him deep. Inhale him, swallow him. Stroke his legs while he moves in slow motion under my damp hot mouth.

Read the rest here.

No HDH today. I don't have any. Do you? If you do, what are you waiting for? Get them to me. Short, off beat, non-fic, funny, stupid, silly, pervy. Send me your heresy, people at hot4sommer at yahoo dot com!

XOXO
Sommer

Pleasurists #21

Unknown found via Art or Porn

Pleasurists is your round-up of the adult product reviews that came out in the last seven days from bloggers all around the sex blogosphere. Did you miss Pleasurists #20? Read it all here. Do you have a review for Pleasurists #22? Submit it here before Sunday March 29th at 11:59pm PST. Please re-post this list on your own blog if listed.

Note: Since there are SO MANY contests this week the Editor’s Pick is all of the contests. Enter and win something!

Want to win some free swag? All you’ve got to do is enter.

• Anal Toy GiveAway Deadline: Tuesday March 24th.
• The “Screaming O” Orgasm Contest Deadline: Thursday, March 26th at 11:59PM.
• Win a Regard Indiscret Set! Deadline: March 27th at 11:59pm PST.
• Win a $20 Gift Card to Babeland! Deadline: March 28th 2009.
• $20 Babeland GC or Quickie Kit! Deadline: Tuesday, March 31st
• Blush Contest Deadline: April 1st by midnight EST.
• Pleasurists Contest: LELO Toy Giveaway! Deadline: Friday April 10th at 11:59pm PST.
• CrashPadSeries.com Contest! Deadline: April 22, 2009.
• Do You Have an Erotic Adventure to Share? Deadline: May 31st, 2009.

Madame Editrix

Scarlet Lotus Sexgeek

On to the reviews…

Vibrators

• Sasi by Nadia West
• Venus by Sommer Marsden
• Paris Duckie by Beautiful Dreamer
• Showerbabe by Miss KissThis
• Xtreme Kit by Epiphora
• Nubby G by Beautiful Dreamer
• LELO Mia by Sienna
• Fusion Duality by Evolved by CarrieAnn
• Benjamin Bond by Epiphora
• The O Honey by Ginger Leigh
• Evolved Novelties Citron by Thursday’s Child
• Liv by LELO by Wendy Blackheart

Dildos

• Melon Crank Glass Dildo by Scarlet Lotus
• Ella by HotMoviesForHer Sex Toy Crew
• Phallix Glass 24 Karat Gold Double Happiness by Sexorcism
• Crystal Wand by HotMoviesForHer Sex Toy Crew
• Belladonna’s Magic Hand by Joe Mirabella

Anal Toys

• Power Probe by The Countess
• LELO Bob by Amber of Scarlet’s Letter

Toys for Cocks

• Fun Factory Love Ring by Beautiful Dreamer

Lube/Massage Oil/Bath Stuff

• Astroglide by Joe Mirabella
• Ginger Pheromone Massage Cream by Domina Doll
• Kama Sutra Sweet Heart Kit by Cinnamon Chambers
• Kama Sutra Sweet Celebrations Box by Catalina Loves

BDSM/Fetish

• Door Jam Cuffs by Thursday’s Child
• Shining star crop and Star Paddle by Essin’ Em
• Lovers Headgear Advanced Mask by Thursday’s Child
• Kinklab Leather Bondage Collar by Ang

Adult Books

• Best Lesbian Erotica 08 by Scarlet Lotus
• The Story of O by Sienna

Adult Movies/Porn

• The New Romantix by Epiphora
• Intimate Temptations by The Porn Librarian
• Dangerous Liaisons by FrzKey
• Tribade Sorority - Campus Life by J.D. Bauchery
• Breakin’ the Rules by The Porn Librarian
• Friends Don’t Let Friends Fuck Alone by Beautiful Dreamer
• Lesbian Life: Real Sex San Francisco by Sinclair Sexsmith
• A Transsexual Love Story by Domina Doll on Viviane’s Sex Carnival

Storage

• FYN Big Foot by Marla Singer

Miscellaneous

• Regard Indiscret Set by Scarlet Lotus
• Gold/Black Satin Corset by Sleeping Dreamer
• Ruby Nipple Dangles by The Countess
• Liberator Throe by Carnivalesq
• Erotique Sheer Lace Gloves by Epiphora
• La Femme Harness by Alpine Subdreams
• Regard Indiscret Set by Domina Doll on Viviane’s Sex Carnival
• Chocolate Party Hats.Com by That Toy Chick

the nice diary dare...

When I was thirteen I became anorexic. It is a long and boring history leading up to this. Let's nutshell it: my father died when I was four, my life was tangled from that, I had a lot of people who loved me but there was a hole in my life, and he had a twin brother who liked to tell me I was fat. Talk about a mindfuck. The end. For the record, I was not fat, like most kids destined to be tall, I pudged, shot up...pudged, shot up.

Fast forward: in high school I existed on (I speculate) 400 calories or less a day. I was five ten. I looked like a bobble head. When I looked in the mirror I saw a fat monster.

Fast forward: I vividly remember my aunt, a nurse, telling me I could *eat* the chicken she was serving or she could *feed* me the chicken she was serving. As in force feed me. She takes no shit, my aunt, and she knew I had both feet firmly planted in unhealthy mind/body image. I was staying with her while my parents were away. I ate the chicken. And I counted and calculated every moment it took my body to burn it.

I hate that dirty feeling of talking about it. Looking back I loathe my self hatred. But to this day, I am ashamed to say, I still often punish myself with food. Or lack thereof. If my stress is high and falls in "super exciting (think falling in love, your wildest dream, something huge) or super horrid (think tragedy,death, disease of the terminal kind)" I do not eat. It is the first thing to go. Food.

If I have great bouts of run of the mill, never ending, perpetual just not good enough, pretty enough, smart enough, thin enough, fast enough, talented enough stress, I tend to eat more. And then berate myself. I abuse myself with food. Either with not enough or too much. Not always. Not 24/7/365, but it is a definite pattern. A pattern I would like to be done with.

So I have entered a time of stress that sort of is all of the above rolled into one. One moment I want no food. The next I am eating gold fish by the fistfuls (um, crackers, not actual fish). I can't do it any more. It is entirely unhealthy and stupid and I'm tired of abusing myself. So, I see myself going into this stressful (good, bad and ugly) time and I am stopping before I start. I am running, I am talking nice to myself, and as dumb as it may sound I am writing in a little black,white and red journal. My nice diary. So when I feel like eating a bag of pork rinds I write, "Do not overeat, _____, you are not going to feel better, you will just turn around in ten minutes and dissect yourself and feel worse."

I am writing stuff like, "No stomach for breakfast, run was slow and horrid but I fucking did it even if it was the 'gray granny shuffle' (my code for excruciating and slow). Will do better at lunch. Pick bright fruit!"

Kind shorthand to a person who needs it. Me.

Stuff like, "Call your friend", "Laugh with the kids", "Hug the man", "Write a silly poem for the boy", "Work on youth project", "Wear your favorite tee".

Yourassisfine, youareaniceperson, youhavegoodfriends, youarefunny, youdonotneedtopunishyourself.

Good karma. Even for myself. Niceness. Even to myself. Patience. Even with myself. I think sometimes we all forget to be nice to ourselves the same way we try to be nice to others. My mother has *always* said to me, "You are your own worst critic. No one on earth could be as hard and horrible and critical of you as you are of yourself."

Hmm. I am 37 and I am seeing this now. I can see what she is talking about. She's right. I said she's right. Someone print this out for her. She'll need it in writing. ;)

So, you, yes, you. Especially you women. We are the worst. We beat ourselves with the biggest stick we can find a lot of the time. Go grab a little notebook. Every day find just one thing and say it. "I am a good person." "I have fantastic feet." "My hoo-has are superb." "I have the most contagious laugh." "My eyes are beautiful."

I dare you.

XOXO
S
p.s. and for those around you: I love you, you are great, you are so funny, you are special, you mean so much to me...I know. Hippie dippie, but friend, you would be amazed at how far a few nice words go. To someone's face or to your own...

watching him grow hard as I held you in my hand...

The love letter winner is...wait for it...J. M. Stone! I love how she compares it to *him*. So romantic. As in, if he can't take care of me right now *you* will, little toy. *Sigh*

Okay, JMS you send me your snail mail addy and I will send you the Mini G Rock and a copy of Playing With Fire.

I got more subs than I expected and not as many as I would like. But we are getting there, people. Stay tuned. The next one is big. The Blow Hard Tour prize is a doozie. Don't change that channel ;)
XOXO
Sommer


Five minutes. That's our challenge today.
I hate it when there isn't enough time to take it slow, to slide you in, slowly, torturously. I remember the day I bought you, watching him grow hard as I held you in my hand, smiling. I couldn't believe how close in size you are to *him*. Makes days like today, when I can't beg him to bend me over, that much easier to handle. Because during a break I can lock my office door, close the blinds, and thrust you inside, hard and fast.
I'm in heat and you're in my purse.
Soon,
JMS

My Dirty Monday

The Penetrating Mini Clit Pump

I think the problem with me and this toy is I am lazy. I simply do not want to work that hard for an orgasm. I like my sex toys to be very simple. Nearly stupid in their simplicity. I like it to do one thing: make me come. I do not want to learn to dance with it, or get my time down, or synch myself up with it. Have I mentioned I am impatient?

I like the concept of the mini clit pump very much. Introducing that feeling of suction along with the normal vibe down below (look out down below!) was very appealing to me. I was super excited. And yet, we had a tussle, the pump and I, our first go round. I simply could not coordinate my actions (fueled by approaching orgasm) to the pumps. When I desperately wanted that suction feeling, I would always be just left of center and get nothing! Nothing! Oh, my god. And then I would get it going and not want to stop even when *I* did want to stop for a moment--for fear that I would end up not being able to start it up again.

Now, somehow we managed, through fits and starts, in some jerky awkward dance to get me to the end. And yes, the stars aligned and I got everything in step just long enough to get off. And get off brilliantly, I might add.

So, I guess, to be perfectly honest my rating for the mini clit pump would be: Perfect for the person who is a) patient b) has a try and try again attitude and c) doesn't mind complicated.

And yes, I read the directions. But they were mostly about battery installation. And though I may be a bit of a spaz from time to time, that is an art I mastered long ago. Battery installation--check!

If you are patient and kind and have oodles of time to devote to self love (and highly coordinated), please do go for this toy. And me, I'll be trying it out again soon. Don't worry. This one is not a toss to the back of the closet toy. This one is a try, try again toy. Cross your fingers for me. Goodness knows I'll be needing all of mine.

XOXO
S

the other thing my (fearful but kind) mailman brought me...

Picture sucks, but it was the best I could get. I'm so excited!

XOXO
S

i mean...free books!

I'm putting this up today because I have MDM review on Monday and I'll be announcing the winner of my Love Letter Mini G Rock contest (you still have time! see the sidebar for details). But I had to put this up, because...come on...a FREE book. Whose budget can't do free?

Rachel Kramer Bussel's special promotion: order The Mile High Club from Amazon.com anytime on Monday, March 23rd, and I'll send you any of my Cleis Press books you want, for free (Do Not Disturb, Tasting Him,Tasting Her, Yes, Sir, Yes, Ma'am, He's on Top, She's on Top, Rubber Sex, Crossdressing, Hide and Seek, Caught Looking, Rubber Sex, Best Sex Writing 2008, Best Sex Writing 2009).

Instructions:
1. Purchase The Mile High Club on March 23, 2009 from Amazon.com (MUST be on that date and MUST be from Amazon.com)

2. Forward the receipt to milehighantho at gmail.com AND tell me which of the above books you'd like

There you go. What are you waiting for?
XOXO
Sommer

Sugasm #161

The best of this week’s blogs by the bloggers who blog them. Highlighting the top 3 posts as chosen by Sugasm participants. Want in Sugasm #162? Submit a link to your best post of the week by emailing me directly at radicalvixenatgmaildotcom Participants, repost the link list within a week and you’re all set.

This Week’s Picks
The Balance of Power“A wave of lust coursed through her body at his words”
Betrayal“What’s this? Evidence of pleasure?”
Secret signals“I will adore him for it”

Sugasm Editor
Not An Overnight

Editor’s Choice
The Ghost of Abuse

More Sugasm
Join the Sugasm

See also: Fleshbot’s Sex Blog Roundup each Tuesday and Friday.

(Sugasm participants should re-post all the links above within a week. The following links may be excluded as long as you include all the above links.)
Thoughts on Sex and Relationships
The Ass
I forgot
Let the Catfighting
Begin
Question #5
My Heart is my Strongest Muscle

No Woman
Owning Slut. Confession #239
Want

Sex Advice
Improving Male Orgasm

NSFW Pics, Videos & Audio
Betty in white stockings
The Blue
Delicate Curves -HNT

Sex News, Reviews, and Interviews
20 Questions with Jiz LeeBlowjob FAIL - the Blowguard
Hysteria and the Hitachi Magic Wand
Industrial Pleasures - the Hitachi Wand
Interview with Daniel Bergner, author of “The Other Side of Desire”
LELO Liv (And Hot Hunk Hugh Jackman Pix)
Sex Toy Review: Go Ringo Cock Ring

Erotic Writing and Experiences
Blindfolded, in a dark forest
Crowded Elevator
How I Became One Groupie’s Real-Life Guitar Hero
Instant Messaging Fun! #1
Oxygen
The Scent Of A Woman
She almost killed me
Sick Day, Part 2

A Sweet and Dirty Love Fuck Story or The Librarian and the Writer
Video Nasty
Watching Girls III, Strike a Pose
What we did on Valentine’s Day

BDSM & Fetish
Diary of a Futa (part 6)
Dream (100 words)
An Enigmatic Angel Returns
On display - Moroccan fantasy 2
Passion
So where’s the missus?
To be or not to be
A weekend with Miss Susan - My version

Oyv says...

Happy Spring! Is this thing on????

Sorry. I know I am having a blogapalooza the last two days. Am still a bit freaked out. Lots of kinetic energy while I work on this thing ;) I will try to behave! (((shyeah, like that'll happen))). Happy Spring from me, too!

XOXO

Sommer
p.s. this is what happens right after you try to take a dachshund's picture just after he's spotted a squirrel...cracked me up.

Drunk & Disorderly

Yay! My story Drunk and Disorderly is up at The Erotic Woman. I lurrrrrrve this story. And might I say, um, I lurrrrrrrrve that picture. Nice.

XOXO
Sommer
p.s. Do not forget to go down (heh heh) and see what I have added to my Love Letter contest giveaway. Whew. Is it hot in here?

come on baby light my fire...

I have gotten some super hot love letters for my Mini G Rock love letter contest. But you know me, I am a greedy girl, so I want more! More, more, more! All *you* have to do is write a love letter to your favorite toy (or a toy you covet) in 100 words or less and send it to me at hot4sommer at yahoo dot com. Make sure you enclose a name I can use to run your letter if you win. The hottest letter will win a Mini G Rock G-spot vibe that comes with a battery. So it is ready to roll and um...rock right out of the box.

How bad do I want your letters? So bad I will also send you a copy of Alison Tyler's Playing With Fire. A sizzling bit of inspiration to accompany your new toy. My story Fire Woman is inside smushed amongst some really combustible writers. What's not to love?

Send me your letters! You only have until Monday!

XOXO
Sommer

What my (fearful but kind) mailman brought me...

The scorching PWF edited by the equally scorching AT. Inside, hot, hot, hot writers including P.S. Haven, Bella Dean, Kristina Wright, J. D. Waters, Jeremy Edwards, Heidi Champa, Shanna Germain, and moi!

So hot, I might have to take my clothes off. Oops. Who said that?

XOXO
Sommer

The Case of the Terrified Typist...

I'm feeling a bit on the bizarre side at the moment. From my earliest memory I wanted to do what I do now. I wanted to be a writer. Period.

I've sold I cannot tell you how many stories. There was a time that I would have laughed at you if you had said, one day, you will not be able to tell me how many stories you have written and sold. I would have pointed, laughed and called you a nut bag. I do remember I sold my 100th to her. But, I do not know how many I have sold at this point. I know I have six ebooks, currently. I think that is right. I know I have some coming out. I know that the computer goes on at seven a.m. and off at midnight to one a.m.

I have put in 20 hour days and dreamed in dialogue. Hell, one time I dreamed in myspace comments. No shit. Just ask him. He'll tell you.

And now I am standing right there. Right. There. *Holds fingers together so they are barely apart*. This close, thanks to some recent happenings, the goal is in site. At least if I squint. And I feel...terrified! Pole-axed, head-butted, knees knocking, heart pounding, deer in headlights terrified. The equivalent of being nine months pregnant and wheeled into the delivery room and saying: "You know what, I don't think I can do this! I have changed my mind. I am not strong enough. I'll just keep him in here, thanks so much, I'll be going now." (don't laugh. I said that at first in a roundabout way. The man will testify.)

Um...So what does a girl do?

Answer: she bakes a pie, does the laundry, has a cry, rants on the phone, talks to the dog, jumps up and down when the (fearful but kind) mailman brings her contributor copies and prizes for her blow hard tour and...

Sits down and starts typing. Terrified, but stubborn.

XOXO
Sommer
p.s. I must own those earrings. You can own them here. But don't look at all the others, or you are going to the poor house, my friend. Fab.

Too fast for him to find a rhythm or follow my pattern...

Gearing up for the Blow Hard Tour 2009, here is a blow jobbish...blow jobby?...blow job-esque?excerpt from my second Seekers novel, Intruder. One of my favorite bj scenes ever...

XOXO
Sommer

I glanced around the room. No lock on the door. No wonder Heidi felt insecure in here. Nothing to block the door with. The only substantial piece of furniture was a chest of drawers and the top was stacked precariously with even more books. Then my eyes registered the closet door. I opened it. “Shit! Her closet is as big as your bathroom,” I said.

“I thought we were talking sex not real estate.”

“Shut up.” I yanked him into the closet. I pushed the door almost all the way closed so we would hear if anyone knocked or entered. Then I dropped to my knees and pulled his boxers down. They pooled around his ankles and his hand instantly plunged into my short, shaggy hair.

“I have to see this,” he groaned as I pushed my nose and then my lips against the velvety tip of his cock. I collected the tiny drop of pre-come with my tongue and Trip’s hands clenched my hair.

Seeing was his problem. I had had this image in my mind for what seemed like forever. I was busy. I took my time dragging my tongue along his shaft, flicking the suede-like skin with just the tip. More groaning and then light. I heard the chain just as our surroundings sprang into view. Shoes, clothes, hangers and yet more books. But I wasn’t worried about the neatness of Heidi’s closet.

I inhaled the familiar yet mystical scent of him. Then I traced his balls with my tongue. Slowly and deliberately drawing symbols and letters with just the tip.

“That is cheating,” he said. To shut him up I pumped his spit-slicked cock with my fist. “Mar- ”
He stopped with I took the length of him into my mouth, relaxed my throat to get him all the way in, and sucked.

“Fuck.”

Soon, I thought.

I sucked him hard and then gently. Hard then gentle. Just the right pressure, just the right play of my tongue. I watched through almost closed eyes as Trip’s knees bent, sagged. Soon.

I cupped his balls and sucked harder still. Then with swift movements of my head slid his cock in and out of my mouth. Too fast for him to find a rhythm or follow my pattern.

“Jesus, Martee. I’m gonna die in a closet with my boxers around my ankles,” he gasped. “Hell of a way to go.”

“Mmm-Hmm,” I said still licking and sucking. He hissed out a breath as the vibration mixed with my slippery movements. Then I played my fingernails lightly over the very insides of his thighs.

“Godda--”

The closet door slid open softly. I froze. Trip backed away and he fell free of my lips. We both stared. Me up from where I was on my knees. Trip hurriedly pulling up his boxers. We stared. At our very real, very solid, very silent visitor. The man looked at us, blinked, turned, and walked out.

Hump Day Heresy: I grasp the long, hard wooden shaft in one hand...

heresy: (her-i-se) n., pl. -sies: (2) Dissent from accepted or dominant opinion, doctrine or theory...

In honor of the upcoming Blow Hard Tour, I will show you the shirt I ran in yesterday. Straight from the romantic land of Italy, the lovely Isabel has made her Ode sound so damn sexy and yes!~cock-related, I wanted to let you see my handiwork (heh heh). So here we go...who the fuck knew that a pepper grinder could flip my switch? Not me! ;)

xoxo

Ode to Black Pepper
by Isabel Kerr

Let me preface this by saying how wonderful it is to be here with all of these great hump day heresy posts. Kirsten Monroe’s Cock Sauce got us all going.. Then we were introduced to that adorable nerd who talked about neutrinos from the inner fires of supernova explosions of dying stars passing through our bodies, and don’t we all wish we’d thought of that way to describe an orgasm?

We went on to a more serious but nonetheless penetrating ode to John Updike and then Cassie’s intriguing sources of inspiration, in other words: we see sex every where! And can’t we all just picture one of Jeremy’s puppet shows--I’m thinking, Machiavellian, Comedia del’Arte--Root of the Mandrake perhaps. And then we were treated to that fabulously filthy piece of Welsh Poetry, and Donna George Storey's delightfully mischievous money bags. All this to say that these are really hard acts to follow!

So, I’ll just tell you a little deep dark secret. Not even Mr. Kerr knows this, because if he did, he would exploit it unmercifully, for the same reason I don’t actually let him read my work, because he simply needs. No. Encouragement. And he thinks all he has to do to get me wet is stick his dick in my face. Which, while true, is not the only way to go about this.

Getting back to how we see sex everywhere- -I also hear sex (sexy voices send me) and smell sex, but not always in the way one would think.

It’s as though all I need is this little impetus. And sometimes it makes me think I’m a little nuts, or just such an easy woman it's ridiculous. It is very strange and I don’t know where it comes from. I think back over the years to perhaps its inception on the dance floor, that hit of amyl nitrate that went right to my...well, my entire body. Or perhaps it does have something to do with Mr. Kerr since he was a dashing Maitre d’ in a lovely old hotel at the edge of a magnificent lake in Switzerland when we met. Wherever it comes from, it is my secret.

It is this~I sit at the table alert for my meal, a little aroused in anticipation, hovering over the dish, taking deep measured breaths of the warm fragrant steam. I grasp the long, hard wooden shaft in one hand, and hold the rotating head with the other. I close my eyes, and give it one firm twist and my senses are off. My *ahem* mouth waters, much like in other situations, every last nerve in my body comes alive. My lips tingle with anticipation when I greedily breathe in the arousing dark scent of black pepper.

Thank you, generous and prodigious Sommer, for letting me share this.

That is my scent-ually fragrant, deep dark secret, what’s yours?

~~

Hmm, well, mine is that now I want a pepper grinder! How about you? Yes, *you*. Do you have a short, non-fic, off beat, weird, funny, poetic HDH submission for me? Shoot me an email at hot4sommer at yahoo dot com and we'll mud wrestle. I mean, chat. I totally, totally meant chat.

XOXO
Sommer

yay! at high altitude...

While I was trying to figure out how to get my tray into an upright and locked position the mail came! And look what was in it. And inside this sexy high altitude book is my story "The Scream Queen". My fellow seat-mates include Alison Tyler, Jeremy Edwards, Donna George Storey, Craig Sorensen, Elizabeth Coldwell, Kristina Wright and Thomas Roche.

Hey, toss me a pack of peanuts. I need a snack while I read...

XOXO
Sommer

Pleasurists #20

via therealkatewest

Pleasurists is your round-up of the adult product reviews that came out in the last seven days from bloggers all around the sex blogosphere. Did you miss Pleasurists #19? Read it all here. Do you have a review for Pleasurists #21? Submit it here before Sunday March 15th at 11:59pm PST. Please re-post this list on your own blog if listed.

Want to win some free swag? All you’ve got to do is enter.

• Pure Romance Contest Deadline: March 18th, 11:59pm.
• I’ve got the golden ticket….. Deadline: March 20th 11:59pm EST.
• $20 Gift Card to Babeland! Deadline: March 22nd at 11:59pm.
• Lucky You!: Love Letter Contest Deadline: March 23rd noon EST.
• Win a $20 Gift Card to Babeland! Deadline: March 28th 2009.
• $20 Babeland GC or Quickie Kit! Deadline: Tuesday, March 31st
• Pleasurists Contest: LELO Toy Giveaway! Deadline: Friday April 10th at 11:59pm PST.

Madame Editrix

Scarlet Lotus Sexgeek

On to the reviews…

Vibrators

• Mini G Rock by Sommer Marsden
• Vibro-pod byHotMoviesForHer Sex Toy Crew
• OhMiBod / Vox amPlug Classic Rock by Champagne and Benzedrine
• Babelight by Nadia West
• Fun Factory Delight by Sexorcism
• Dolly Dolphin II by HotMoviesForHer Sex Toy Crew
• Shower Babe by CarrieAnn
• Gigolo by CarrieAnn
• Infrared Warming Rechargeable Massager by Domina Doll on Viviane’s Sex Carnival

LELO

• Liv by CarrieAnn
• Liv by The Countess
• Liv by Erin Leone
• Liv by Sexorcism
• Liv by Carnivalesq
• Nea by Erin Leone
• Nea by Panthera Pardus

Dildos

• Silky by Sleeping Dreamer
• Alumina Motion by Marla Singer

Anal Toys

• Bloomy by Beautiful Dreamer
• Bendy Beads by Scarlet Lotus
• Bloomy by Thursday’s Child

Toys for Cocks

• Pumping: How to Grow a Dick by Sinclair Sexsmith
• Lacey’s Pussy And Ass Review by Betty Rocket

Packing Cocks

• Medium and Large Packy by Erin Leone

Lube/Massage Oil/Bath Stuff

• ID Glide by Beautiful Dreamer
• ID Juicy Lube by Beautiful Dreamer
• Smooth Shave Gel by Shay
• Afterglow Massage Candle by Marla Singer
• Frixion Lube by Dangerous Lilly
• Kama Sutra Intensifying Gel - Warming by Domina Doll

BDSM/Fetish

• Black Rubber Whip by Scarlet Lotus
• Naughty Nipples by Sleeping Dreamer
• Natural Rattan Cane by Bad Bad Girl
• Colt Grips by Alpine Subdreams
• Red Wide-Tipped Riding Bat by Scarlet Lotus

Adult Books

• Em & Lo’s Rec Sex: An A-Z Guide to Hooking Up by Beautiful Dreamer
• The New Topping Book by Wendy Blackheart

Adult Movies/Porn

• Glamcore by The Porn Librarian
• Great Sex For A Lifetime Volume One by J.D. Bauchery
• Jiburiru Vol. 1 by FrzKey
• Buddy Wood’s - Kimber James by The Porn Librarian
• The New Romantix by Sexorcism
• Fetish Dolls by Domina Doll on Viviane’s Sex Carnival

Storage

• Lockable Vibrator Case by Domina Doll
• The Divine Toy Box by Catalina Loves

Miscellaneous

• Sexy Satin Corset and G-string by Sleeping Dreamer
• The Blowguard by Thursday’s Child

Spring!

The first of the Four Seasons Anthos is out! Spring edited by Selena Kitt includes writers such as moi, Dakota Trace, Molly Wens and Giselle Renard.

I have two review copies available (.pdf). If you'd be willing to do a brief review on your site and/or the eXcessica site, email me at hot4sommer at yahoo dot com. First come, first serve.

Isn't she pretty? And festively green?!

XOXO

Sommer

Lucky

Happy St. Patrick's Day! "Lucky" is my flasher from last year's Ruthie's SPD extravaganza! ...

“I really don’t think we’ll find one,” I said.

“I think we will. The trick is to get down and crawl. The closer you are, the better the odds.”

“Fine,” I sighed. I really didn’t think we’d find a four-leaf clover, but I was a good sport. Judd’s backyard was a carpet of clover.

“I really want to give it to Ma for St. Patrick’s Day.”

Since Mrs. McGee was to be my mother-in-law, I thought I should try. When I turned, Judd was staring straight at my ass and grinning.

“You don’t care about a four-leaf clover! You think you’re gonna get lucky!” I was pissed. My knees were dirty, and I felt cross-eyed.

“You know what they say about my people.” Judd laughed and crawled faster. I was no match for him. He pinned me in the cold grass.

He tugged my jeans, and I gave in. I spread my legs wide under the tall oaks. Judd slid his cock home. I wrapped my legs round his waist. His red beard tickled my neck. I arched my hips, pulling greedily with my ankles.

“Easy, Katie, easy.” He laughed, but he fucked me harder. He knew the way I liked it.

“No easy. I’m nervous. I have to meet your mother today of all days. The Irish high holy day?” I panted as my cunt clutched, and I started to come.

“Oh, you’re ready to meet her.”

“No! I’m not!” Another wave rolled through me.

“We’ll get you some liquid courage and...” Judd yanked my hips high and growled as he spilled into me.

“And?”

“This.” He fished something from his shirt pocket. A four-leaf clover.

“Where’d you get this?”

“I bought it at the supermarket. It was the last one.”

“Cheater.”

“Just Lucky.”
~~~~~~~~~

Have a lucky day!
XOXO
Sommer O'Marsden

Mean People Suck...And Then Suck Some More...

I love when people are mean to me because they can be. I mean really inexcusably, joyfully, fucking mean. Actually, I do not love it and was being obnoxious. I see so many opportunities to be mean every day and I cannot. I cannot do it. Lots of times throughout the day I could fire off mean emails, be rude on the phone, in the car, in line at the store, or online. And I can't.

I think that's why when someone take great relish in being mean to me (and it was evident), I just want to hit them. Hard. We have gotten to a point online where we will say stuff to people online that we would *never* say in person. If you would not say it to me in person with a drink in your hand at a party---don't say it to me online!

Then I wonder why the fuck I am wasting my time worrying about this behavior. Or the person behind it.

I guess I just don't get it. And I guess it hurts my feelings that someone could take pleasure in giving me a good emotional punch in the head. I'm not that way to people, so why do I deserve it? I don't. That's the answer. No one does.

Whatever. This is why sometimes when I hear the phrase "Karma's a bitch" I smile. So, I guess I have to keep what my second editor ever said to me in an email the other day. "You do write sex really, really well - hot, horny sex."

Thank you for taking the time to randomly tell me that. And thank you for being nice even when you don't have to be.

Done! I'm letting it go. OM...

XOXO
S