i have a few things to iron out...

Some unexpected wrinkles have cropped up...

XOXO

Sommer

masochist...true story

I've found recently that when I get nice and comfortable with something (say...my genre) I tend to go and do something crazy. Like shoot myself in the foot. This is why I keep my toenails painted. It just looks better that way >;)

I got a no today on a story that I really liked. Non-smut. I guess you could call it horror. Or maybe surrealistic? Whatever you want to call it, it was not my norm. And that feels good to me. Testing my boundaries, struggling, trying things that do not resonate as safe or comfortable or tried and true. I like to feel off kilter, out of my element and taxed. In life and in writing. Not all the time. I am not insane (certifiably). But I am somehow oddly comfortable with being uncomfortable. It is the whole reason I tried smut in the first place. To see if I could. So now I'm trying some other stuff. To see if I can. Some of it is to see if I can do it period. Some of it is to see if I can *remember* how to do it.

Like I said, I got a no. But I also got a 'send us something else'. Which always gives me hope and a shiver. I get another chance. The gate is not barred to me. Yay. So, I go forward with a smile.

I will tell you this, as I told Mr. Tandy last night via email with a movie on and a fresh glass of wine--I see that all my non smut work is still mostly riddled with sex. Different kind of sex, mind you, but sex all the same. So in my twisted, Climax purple psyche, sex is entwined so deeply in life itself, I can't escape it. I can only change the degree to which it plays a roll. And at this point, why fight it. Just take your version of 'sanity' and run with it, yeah?

Picture from this really cool site.

XOXO
Sommer

not slut but _ _ _ _ _ _

Busy, crazy day today! I slept for shit last night because of scary story I have been working on. Yes--some of my stories keep me up at night--feel free to point and laugh now. The man got me up and we went and bought a new PC! Yay me! It is fab and once my service is installed next week I should be able to rule the world! I mean move much faster.

When I returned to get my baby after installation, it wasn't quite done. I wandered down and bought some nail polish while I waited. Found a fan-fucking-tastic neon purple color. The pic does not do it justice. Can you guess what the name is? It's not slut, but it is a word you would find in the smut genre. First person to um...'nail' it gets their own bottle.

Care to give it a shot? Name that color. I have a bottle with your name on it.

XOXO
Sommer
p.s. I followed my scary story and I think it is good! But best of all, I'm hoping I sleep tonight because it's been purged from my head. Fingers (and pretty purple piggies) crossed!
p.p.s. I also got some mind blowing turquoise polish but that's for next week. And next story!
p.p.p.s. Hint: the polish is from an overseas company. Not American made. They might have a mild um...accent...much like Kristina Lloyd has I imagine...you know...at the factory. (((I couldn't not give you a hint!)))

i'm touching you...

Right. What I mean is, I'm back in touch. My internet is back up. But I am treating it with kid gloves (and a faux fur flogger) until I'm all hooked up with new service next week. Last night was kind of nice and relaxing...and quiet...and peaceful...and quiet...I got a lot of reading done...and watching TV, and did I say it was quiet? And maddening! Oops. Sorry. I meant mellow. Not maddening.

Anyway, the way I found out I had no internet was I went to send a little purple story to one Alison Tyler and...nothing. Nada. Zip. Zilch. Ahhhhhhhh!

Happy ending. The man woke me up at five to say he had checked and the gremlins had fixed me whilst I slumbered (restlessly dreaming of no service and being cut off and...*gasp!*). The point is, I sent my purple story this morning and you can find it here.

XOXO
Sommer

this is the face of an addict

Okay, the profile of an addict. No internet at home! Maybe until the 2nd of July. Oh dear holy god! what?!

This is what addiction sounds like: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Anyway, just an FYI. If I do not answer your email in 2.3 seconds per norm it is because I am sitting in the corner chewing my fingernails and weeping.

Trust me. I get the joke. This is ridiculous. If the internet left track marks I'd probably look like a porcupine who's been plucked clean. But for now I will just need to breathe and make use of the public computers and just...um...not cry openly. Okay, fuck that. I must not cry *too loudly*.

Back in the a.m. When the lovely library opens back up again and I have to make a mad dash and club people with my shoe. I mean...wait my turn.

XOXO
Sommer the sad...

i've lost my marbles...

Not really. But I am marble obsessed in my current story. But not even mildly in the way that one would assume. All day I've been trying to do the flit-about method from yesterday (see below). It's a no go. This story had elbowed its way to the front of the pack and sunk its claws in. Kind of appropriate given its dark/horror-ish nature. So, here I sit, running my fingers over my imaginary marbles, trying to get my fingers to keep up with what the characters are telling me.

As you can see, no Hump Day Heresy today. No one sent me one! So if you would like to be in this space next hump day telling me something short, cool, off beat, preferably non-fic, maybe even marble related... you know where to find me. Shoot me an email. And if you don't know where to find me, its initials are: hot4sommer at yahoo dot com

XOXO
Sommer

dark is dominant...

Today was one of those days that I know I've mentioned before--I swear I could hear my own theme music. Something jaunty but slightly smoky. Something with a good back beat. I got so much done before the kids even got up, I could not believe it.

Not just writing. Writing, work around the house, the To-Do List, emails, etc, etc, etc. It was all very fluid, one movement to the next. One project to the next. Each chore to the next. I love these days. Trust me, they are few and far between and when they do come I just keep telling myself over and over again: this is awesome! Awesome! Soak it up, absorb it, focus, pay attention cause God only knows when it will happen again.

I have so many projects going at once in my head that usually it makes me feel mildly anxious. But I woke up to my brain writing one. I put it down. It moved onto the next. I put that down. The next. Ditto. And then it did a smooth but frantic electric boogie between about six projects as the day went on. All progressed. All made sense. No stress, no tension, no sweating bullets. Bing, bang, boom.

One is noir, one is horror, one is a synopsis (my most dreaded hell beastie), a few are erotica--all are dark. I did notice that. I'm reenacting June Cleaver and all my projects are dark. Friend...I am not touching that with a ten foot spoon. That is right. Spoon. I have no idea why I typed that instead of pole, but I'm leaving it. I like it.

XOXO
Sommer

Pleasurists #34

from dockera.com via art or porn

Pleasurists is your round-up of the adult product reviews that came out in the last seven days from bloggers all around the sex blogosphere. Did you miss Pleasurists #33? Read it all here. Do you have a review for Pleasurists #35? Submit it here before Sunday June 28th at 11:59pm PDT. Please re-post this list on your own blog if listed.

Note: Monday the 29th is the editor’s birthday, Pleasurists #35 may be delayed next week.

Want to win some free swag? All you’ve got to do is enter.

• Christmas in July Deadline: June 24th at noon EST
• Vibrator Horror Story Contest Deadline: June 26th
• Name That Sex Toy! Deadline: 11:59 PST June 26th
• Summer Lust Contest! Deadline: June 28th, 2009 at 11:59 p.m. PST
• Cheebras Pin-Up Contest! Deadline: Entries MUST be received by midnight on July 4, 2009
• Hello Kitty Vibe photo contest Deadline: September 1, 2009

Madame Editrix

Scarlet Lotus St. Syr

On to the reviews…

Editor’s Pick

• Dream Massager G by Sleeping Dreamer



I love this vibrator for it’s power. Yes, these vibrations carry throughout the entirety of my vaginal canal and even vibrate down into my ass. I can feel the vibrator through the mattress, yea, that good. The Dream Massage G is to my vagina what the Hitachi is to my clitoris.

Vibrators

• Acuvibe Mini by Scarlet Lotus St. Syr
• Oui by Sommer Marsden
• Joanna Angel’s Bad Ass G Bullet by Baby Sinead
• Handy Massager Review by Pumpkin Lady
• I Rub My Duckie by Ginger Leigh
• Trinity Vibes Vibrating Silver Bullet by Mistress Says
• Hello Kitty Vibe by True Pleasures
• Slimline G by HotMoviesForHer Sex Toy Crew
• Ben’s G-Spot Smoothie by Beautiful Dreamer
• Rock Chick by Sleeping Dreamer
• Galaxy G-Kit by Ansley Agnello
• Bgee by Ansley Agnello
• Waterproof Slender Probe by Epiphora
• Impulse Hyper Sonic Wand by Domina Doll

Dildos

• Belladonna’s Magic Hand by Scarlet Lotus St. Syr
• Tantus G-Force Wand by Marla Singer St. Syr
• Sunshine Helix Real Tip Rocket by Carrie Ann
• Leo by Ansley Agnello
• Martian Night Spiral Curved e-Glass Dildo by Mistree Says
• DonWand Glass BubbleWand by Erotic Amusements
• Sugar Drop by Beautiful Dreamer
• Raspberry Chunk Juicer by Red
• Curve by Epiphora
• Milkmaid Dildo by Domina Doll on Viviane’s Sex Carnival

Anal Toys

• Flexi Felix by Arron Leone
• Fun Factory Bloomy by Red

Toys for Cocks

• Tenga Squeeze Play by Onyx V St. Syr
• Betty Jo Cock Ring by True Pleasures

Lube, Massage Oil, Bath Stuff, & etc.

• Sensation Erotic Massage Oil by Sarah
• Spectra 360 Electrode Gel by Red
• Yes Water Based Lube by Red
• Yes Oil Based Lube by Red
• Climax Bursts Toy Cleaner by Carrie Ann
• Fizz Lubricant by Carrie Ann
• Keep It Clean Toy Wash by Adriana
• Energizing Massage Balm by Intimate Organics by HotMoviesForHer Sex Toy Crew
• Shunga Massage Candle, Bath Gel, and Sweet Snow Powder by Carrie Ann
• Wet Originals by Domina Doll
• Wet Together by Red
• The Sensuous Soak Kit by The Countess
• Inttimo Kitty Shave Kreme by Adriana
• Oil of Love – Tangerines and Cream by Domina Doll

BDSM/Fetish

• Lover’s Riding Crop by Nadia West

Adult Books/Games

• Supersex by Tracey Cox by Amorous Rocker
• Opening Up: A Guide to Creating and Sustaining Open Relationships by Domina Doll on Viviane’s Sex Carnival

Adult Movies/Porn

• Champion by Scarlet Lotus St. Syr
• Catherine by Backseat Boohoo
• The Joanna Angel Magical Threesome Adventure Experience by Beautiful Dreamer
• Carnal Sensations by J.D. Bauchery
• Sisters by FrzKey
• Sometime Sweet Susan by The Porn Librarian
• by J.D. Bauchery
• Sex Warrior Pudding Collector’s Complete Edition by FrzKey
• Penny Flame’s Expert Guide to Rough Sex by Epiphora

Storage

• Sugar Sak Anti-Bacterial Toy Bags by Jessie M
• FYN Adult Toy Box by Laurel

Miscellaneous

• Fetish Fantasy Inflatable Position Master by Dragon Mage
• Babegloss by Adriana
• The ShockSpot fucking machine by KamaSutronics

it just got hotter...

The eXcessica Four Seasons: Summer 2009 Anthology is out! Yay! I'm featured with one of my favorite f/f stories ever "House On The Hill".

Here's the rundown: This ten story anthology includes stories from Sommer Marsden, Sabb, Jennifer Campbell, Mallory Path, J.M. Snyder, Savannah Reardon, Stone Franks, Dakota Trace, Molly Wens and Selena Kitt.

Yay!

XOXO
Sommer

My Dirty Monday: Hide A Vibe

Hide A Vibe

I once ordered an end table from a small catalog store. I had it in my head what it would look like, how it would go in the room and what size it was. It arrived and was about 1/3 of the size of what was in my head. I was flabbergasted. But then the man found the catalog and pointed out to me that the table that arrived fit the dimensions. Dimensions schmimensions! I do not know of dimensions. I go by pictures. And dammit, if a table looks about 3' x 5' in a picture, it should be 3' x 5'--even if the catalog copy reads 18" x 1' 9".

Apparently, this issue translates to sex toys, too! The Hide a Vibe was the reverse of my lovely end table. When I was compiling a review order I saw it and though, oh, my god, it looks like a faux lipstick! It is so cute! So I ordered it...

Hmm. This would never pass for a lipstick barring the owner being roughly 18 feet tall. This would be one big ass lipstick. I mean, don't get me wrong, it really does resemble a lipstick tube. Only not for an average human, maybe for an Amazon. The good news is this: It is adorable! It is cheap (love cheap)! It is discreet! (Unless you try to apply it to your lips in public). It is QUIET! And it is worth every penny. This is a vibrator you should have in your arsenal.

I don't have a ton to tell you with the exception of my deficiency in reading produce dimensions and that the Hide a Vibe did its job, did it quietly, and made me say, "Oh, baby, I love you so no matter how big (or small) you are."

Throw it in your suitcase, throw it in your purse, throw it in your beach bag. Perfect for emergency um..."touch ups".

XOXO
S

Cumin and join me...

So, who besides me remembers the bring home the bacon articles from the 70’s in the women’s magazines? I was a kid but yeah, I read them all. There were always ‘busy day recipes’. If you look in the penultimate kitchen book, The BETTER HOMES AND GARDENS NEW COOK BOOK you will find busy day cake. So what’s a girl (or a lad) to do on a day where it’s been a blur of porn writing and smut crafting?

Busy Porn Day Cumin Chicken.

This is a favorite in my house and yes, I concocted it on the spot one night when I realized I had zero for dinner. I had just wrapped up a story and had but an hour or so till dinner time. And absolutely no idea what to make. Now, let’s be smart about this, since I do not measure and tend to say palmful (a la Rachel Ray), if you have a palm the size of Texas you might want to tone it down a bit. If your palm is minuscule you might want to add a bit. The point is good taste and to wing it.

A palmful of ground cumin
A (scant) palmful of kosher salt (not table salt!!!)
A pinch of pepper
A pinch of paprika (optional)
Olive oil to make a paste
Chicken (duh ;)

Add all the spices and olive oil. Massage the chicken. Here is where I sing! Feel free to pull from my play list or add your own: SexyBack (Haven just hit the deck, did you hear that?), Can’t Get Next To You, Bernadette, With or Without You, Strength of a Woman (oh, he just got up and now he’s back down!), anything from Sam’s Town and especially anything by Otis Redding. You get the picture. Feel free to tweak your own list.

Massage the hell out of your chicken and then put it in the Rotisserie. Now! If you do not have a rotisserie this works on oven chicken or chicken on the grill. The only kind of chicken it does not work on it already cooked chicken because that would just be stupid.

I put my chicken in the machine for 1.5 hours and then I make oven fries. Remember, I have been busy crafting smut all day so I try to give a good dinner in a little time. I wash up my potatoes and cut them into slices that as closely as possible resemble actual French fries. Sometimes I am more successful than others. I toss in more olive oil and a tiny pinch of sea salt (not table or Kosher!!) and put in a 400 degree oven for 30 minutes. Then I flip and bake for another 30 to 45 mins.

I mix horseradish in with the man’s ketchup and leave the kiddos’ plain.

Nothing says nice dinner like charred summer corn. We have a farm stand up the road and I tried to stay stocked in sweet white corn. If I have corn on the busy porn days, I strip it to about naked (the corn, not me. But if this is a dinner for two...well...nevermind! nevermind!). Wet the husk good and char it over a grill, a griddle, or even the stove burner. Now that one is tricky, because you really have to stay with corn while you are charring it. And I don’t really do that. I tend to wander. No lie. So I often hear: "Are we charring this corn or burning the shit out of it, because it’s on fire."

Damn! I call it Flaming Corn. A little herb butter, Irish butter or just plain old butter and salt (yes, table) accent the corn nicely.

Now we move to a nice box of wine. Yes, box. Good, voluminous, red and cheap. Just like me! We are fans of Carlo Rossi Merlot right now. And it really is a pleasant little wine. If the box offends you, I encourage you to remove the bladder, recycle the box, and walk around squirting wine into each other mouths and calling one another gaucho which is Spanish for cowboy! It all goes with the cumin, I think.

If you absolutely abhor the box wine, we did stumble across this nice wine recently and it’s really good and the bottle is really pretty (and for some reason that truly matters to me!). So you can always have Bohemian Highway Cabernet.

I think I’m breaking the chicken rule with red wine as opposed to white, but you know my motto: fuck it!

Dessert. Right. Dessert. Hmm. I never got around to that. It was a busy porn day. So that is why the Universe, in its infinite wisdom, put a small ice cream place right around the corner. I’ll have a vanilla soft-serve nude please!

Ole!

Now, you. What do you prepare for the masses on busy porn days? Or busy any days? No longer do we need Hamburger Helper or mac and cheese in a box. We are more evolved than that. What’s your most cherished slap-dash meal? Do tell.

And since I somehow managed to schedule myself for Father’s Day without realizing it, I will be in and out much like my beloved porn stories. So Happy Father’s Day and happy chatting! I hope you enjoyed my busy day meal. Fire and all.

XOXO
Sommer

Come back next week and after...

Sunday, 6/28: Kirsten Monroe–cinnamon
Sunday, 7/5: Scarlett Greyson–thyme
Sunday, 7/12: Craig Sorensen–pepper
Sunday, 7/19: Jeremy Edwards–dill
Sunday, 7/26: Isabel Kerr–ginger
Sunday, 8/2: Marina St. Clare-basil
Sunday, 8/9: Cerulean — rosemary
Sunday, 8/16: Emerald–poppy seeds
Sunday, 8/23: P.S. Haven–salt
Sunday, 8/30: Special Grand Finale!

in my next life...when i have a cock...

I want to be him. But for now, I'll settle for watching him. And daydreaming. And yes, fluffing and primping him to be one of my characters. I am shocked and mortified at myself that he is not already a hot, alpha man character in my books yet. For shame.

Lots going on here in Sommerland the last few days. Most of it would bore you (barring hot stellar basement sex). My original self has been published but I can't link here! I am working on a project, but I can't say what (because that would jinx it don't ya know)! And I...I got...uh...nothing!

Look for me tonight--I am cumin. Well, *I* am not cumin but my spice is and I'm going to try to post tonight for tomorrow's Spicy Sunday tour since my Sunday also happens to be Father's Day. (Yay, the man!) So, tomorrow (roughly), I am cumin, hear me roar. And by hear me, I mean come read the blog between tonight and tomorrow night. At some point. Eventually...

XOXO
Sommer
p.s. but I have to say, the basement floor is really hard. I mean really hard. Who knew concrete would be that hard? Oh...you did? Show off.

have some poetry with your coffee...and maybe a shot of whiskey...

I am toddling off to bed soon, campers. And if all the stars align, I will sleep late tomorrow. The kids have up and deserted me for a few days, the man is off tomorrow and I am whipped with a capital kapow! Tonight was eventful, I finished a story, subbed it, got banged in the basement and watched a rousing hour of cut footage from the NJ Housewives. Besides the stellar basement sex there was wine, good brainless TV and a few good books to read.

So, Mr. Tandy is back to visit us. I think I like his name so much because it makes me think of candy. And we all know how I feel about candy. Anyway, sweet Mr. Tandy has come back and tempted me with poetry. So I knocked him down, stole his awesome poetry and have put it up for myself. That is my evil plot come to fruition [insert evil laughter here].

Okay, okay, so I have his permission. Stop pressuring me.

Here you go. Enjoy. I have to say, I do like the way his mind works. I can't think of poetry I've read that was so logical but visceral. Which totally makes me swoon.

You can thank me in the morning.

XOXO
Sommer

OPEN CASE
(c) 2008 by William Patrick Tandy

The Man I Was
Came to town
Looking for
The Man I Might
Have Been

Both were
Pronounced dead
At the scene

Police called
The Man I Am
A person of
Interest

And he hasn't
Been seen
Since

A ROUND IN THE CHAMBER
c) 2003 by William Patrick Tandy

Chasing solace
To the
Bottom
Of a
Happy hour
Glass
I took my shot
Through colored lights
And smoke

BANG!

And came up
Empty-handed

Aim at nothing
Said the Golden
Rule
You don't
Intend to
Kill

So smoking
Glass in
Hand
I sallied forth
And bought
Another shot
At
Solace


William Patrick Tandy is a splinter in the hand of an angry god. As such, Baltimore suits him just fine. Learn more at Eight-Stone Press

"I feel like I am in a really good music montage in a kick ass movie"

I had to father's day shop. Kiddos have disappeared for a few days with their cousins. So, I"m out driving the wild country road that is the back way to the mall. I had the Hair Ball (98 Rock) cranked on the way out. Now it is the way home and I have 100.7 totally blaring. It is a day for old music I adore. Windows are open, short short hair blowing hither and yon. And this comes on...

Here I come again now baby

Like a dog in heat

Tell it's me by the way now baby

I like to tap the streets

Now I've been smoking for so long

You know I'm here to stay

Got you in a stranglehold baby

You best get out of the way...

This is the point where I would-a-used-ta-once-upon-a-time lit a cigarette. But I don't do that any more so I cranked it up a little higher, put the windows down a little lower and jammed out with Ted. And man, I felt so totally cool, and hot, and smoking (not actual smoking of cigarettes but another word for cool, friend). I was having a truly rocking "I feel like I am in a really good music montage in a kick ass movie" moment. And then this motherfucking bird veered out of no where! NO. WHERE! and nearly flew right in my window. Shit. I don't even know what kind of bird it was. All I saw were big ass wings. I think they were white. I don't know. I couldn't focus what with all the screaming and veering I was doing. So anyway. That ruined my damn movie moment. Unless the movie we're talking about is The Birds.

Damn bird. Ruined my imaginary montage.

XOXO
Sommer

a good price on something I covet can damn near make me wet...

I love a good bargain. Truly, I do. Even more so now that I have no money. I mean, god, don't' get me wrong. I've *never* had money. But now I have less money than no money. Reminds me of the days of picking the loose threads on my uniform skirt or drawing on my saddle shoes when we discussed negative integers. And when I say 'discussed' i mean Mrs. H talked and I spaced out or wrote poetry in my head. Or on my notebook.

Anyway, a good price on something I covet can damn near make me wet.

Today I took the kiddos to the Salvation Army. Too cool for school. We rummaged and rummaged and picked and checked. Best score for boy: a Freddy Krueger (sp?) sweater lookalike from some posh Goth clothing line (thank you ma for finding it smooshed amongst the bedazzled and bejeweled sweaters). Best score for girl: a pair of Paul Somethingshisname pajamas with the sock monkeys skiing on them. Two bucks for the set (also found by ma). Best score for me: well, hell. Let's just give you a rundown.

$18 got me:

Levi's jeans
Calvin Klein shorts
an ugly shirt size Small
a funky Anne Klein top
a tie dyed Chinese symbol shirt
a green thermal
a white Abercrombie thermal
two pairs of pajama pants (that match smaller ones i got girl child *last* trip)
a turtleneck that i cannot describe but is a new age turtleneck...go figure that out!
and I think that's it...

Oddly (she laughs riotously here) my current story that I've been working on all day and am about to wrap up takes place in a thrift store. Who saw that coming? Not me. (I am lying)

Two websites of note~followed a linkback from this one. And might I say, aw! So sweet! and I know some of these women (Bronwyn, Brynn and Dakota) and they rock hard. And also this place. I like the name, I love the concept, and I perused some very good poetry here.

XOXO
Sommer

Pleasurists #33

from fotodigital.ro via art-or-porn

Pleasurists is your round-up of the adult product reviews that came out in the last seven days from bloggers all around the sex blogosphere. Did you miss Pleasurists #32? Read it all here. Do you have a review for Pleasurists #34? Submit it here before Sunday June 21st at 11:59pm PDT. Please re-post this list on your own blog if listed.

Want to win some free swag? All you’ve got to do is enter.

• Njoy Pure Wand Giveaway! Deadline: Friday, June 19th at noon Eastern Standard Time.
• Blowfish Swag Contest Giveaway #1 Deadline: June 22nd
• Name That Sex Toy! Deadline: 11:59 PST June 26th

Madame Editrix

Scarlet Lotus St. Syr

On to the reviews…

Editor’s Pick

• Taffy Tickler Silicone Sweets by Epiphora



On the front of the package, a circle of orange spines say, “Try Me.” You feel them; they are glossy, pointy, somewhat pliable. They remind you of body jewelry, Hot Topic, the 90s. But this tactile experience does not prepare you for the sensation of the spines in your pussy.




Editor’s Note: It should be no secret that I love Epiphora’s reviews, and this is a particularly wonderful one. Often reviews of bad toys are better than raving reviews of wonderful toys that we reviewers can’t get enough of and this is one such review. The absolute horror of the toy is at once frightening and intriguing as Epiphora takes you through her attempts of trying to find any redeeming quality in it whatsoever.

Vibrators

• Evolved Bottle Rocket Orion by Carrie Ann
• Sublime by Epiphora
• The Boss by Red
• Vibratex Thundercloud by Betty Rocket
• Mini Remote Control 7-Speed Egg by KamaSutronics
• Cal Exotics Intimacy Massager by Miss KissThis
• Review – The Hawaiian Vibrator by ms. YET
• Evolved Diamond Lustre by the kitten pup
• Betty Jo by Carrie Ann
• We-Vibe by Exploring Intimacy
• Climax Silicone Wavy G-shaft by Carrie Ann
• Sublime by Epiphora
• Natural Contours Petite by Domina Doll
• Natural Contours Jolie by Domina Doll on Viviane’s Sex Carnival

Dildos

• Climax Silicone wavy shaft by Amorous Rocker
• The Titan by Essin’ Em

Anal Toys

• Anal Electrodes by KamaSutronics
• Bootie by Beautiful Dreamer
• Cyberskin Dream Cock by Eliot Bodem
• Aluminum Mini 3″ and 4″ by Epiphora

Lube, Massage Oil, Bath Stuff, & etc.

• Kama Sutra Mint Tree Luxury Bathing Gel by Ansley Agnello
• Lover’s Choice Flower Balm For Her Pleasure by Thursday’s Child
• Sliquid Organics Natural Gel by HotMoviesForHer Sex Toy Crew
• Wet Naturals by Domina Doll

BDSM/Fetish

• Door Jam Cuffs by The Master
• Dr. Kaplan Nipple Pump System 2 by Thursday’s Child
• Nexus iStim by Sleeping Dreamer
• Fetish Fantasy Wooden Paddle by Eliot Bodem
• Jennings Dental Mouth Gag by Domina Doll

Adult Books/Games

• Lesbian Sex 101 by Ansley Agnello
• Spin Me from JimmyJane by Sleeping Dreamer
• The Clitourist by Ansley Agnello
• Books by Anna Hooper by Red
• Books By Tracey Cox by Red
  

Adult Movies/Porn

• Big Ass Fixation 4 by Sommer Marsden
• Amateur Angels 22 by The Porn Librarian
• women in Cell Block 7 by FrzKey
• Cynthia by J.D. Bauchery
• No Swear Words by The Porn Librarian
• Office Perverts by FrzKey
• Dana Dearmond’s Role Modeling by Domina Doll on Viviane’s Sex Carnival

Kegel Exercisers

• Pleasure Pearls by Baby Sinead
• Kegel8 Tight and Tone by havingmycake
• Smartballs by HotMoviesForHer Sex Toy Crew

Miscellaneous

• Fantasy Swing by Ginger Leigh
• Contour I by Sleeping Dreamer
• The eXtreme Plow Fucking Machine by KamaSutronics
• Crazy Girl Pheromone Diva Dust by Jessie M
• Adult Toy Cleaner by Jezebelle
• Liberator Fascinator Shag Throe by Epiphora

a gandering mood...

I'm in a weird headspace this week. Partly me and how I happen to be wired (like a touchy bomb, I think) and some circumstances. With this comes what I call writer's ADD. I can't seem to settle on a book at night. I have a short attention span. I stumbled over these two books and have been flipping back and forth between them in the evening. Having a bit of a literary threesome. So far, both are really good and worth a gander if you're in a gandering mood!

The first is horror: Unhappy Endings by Brian Keene
The second is noirish violent fun: Sex, Thugs, and Rock&Roll edited by Todd Robinson.

Care to share what you're reading? Pointers, tips or recommendations!? Or maybe just pretty pictures for those of us who are having a rough week...

XOXO
Sommer

aw, hell yeah!

See me in there! Woohoo!

To order your own and for a free read go here.
To keep up with the ESP blog go here.

XOXO
Sommer


BALTIMORE – Get hot and bothered this summer with “Smile, Hon, You’re in Baltimore!” No. 11, the latest installment in the award-winning series published by Eight-Stone Press.

In this issue, SIOBHÁN FITZPATRICK plants petunias in Pigtown; LISA SINGER’s anger management reserves the right to refuse service; SOMMER MARSDEN leads the way into temptation; CARYN COYLE turns heads; and PIPPY ROCKWELL considers the sociopolitical ramifications of sex-toy selection, plus a whole lot more. Contributors include:

SUSAN BEVERLY
A. AUBREY BODINE
DAVIDA GYPSY BREIER
RYAN COFFMAN/SUSURRUS DIN
CARYN COYLE
MARTHA GATEWOOD
E. DOYLE-GILLESPIE
SIOBHÁN FITZPATRICK
SHARON GOLDNER
ERIC D. GOODMAN
RYAN GRAHAM
GEORGE HAGEGEORGE
ROB HATCH
J. GAVIN HECK
ALEX HEWETT
JOE HIGLER
STEVE HIMMER
JILLIAN ROSE KRUPP
SOMMER MARSDEN
JEN MICHALSKI
FERNANDO QUIJANO III
BENN RAY
FAYE RIVKIN
PIPPY ROCKWELL
ROSALIA SCALIA
JOSEPH CHRISTOPHER SCHAUB
BEN SHABERMAN
JENA SHLOCK
DONNY SMITH
LISA SINGER
ALIZA SOLLINS
KEN STANEK
WILLIAM PATRICK TANDY
RON TANNER
E.B. WEXLER

My Dirty Monday: Oui

I love pretty sex toys. The Oui is adorable. It's a small 'personal massager' that fits in the palm of your hand. Chrome finish, one battery, depressable button that CANNOT be turned on accidentally by being joggled around or handled the wrong way. Whew! *wipes brow*. I love the concept of a personal massager. Remember seeing them in the Lillian Vernon catalogs? (my favorite Mad TV skit, btw). Decidedly penis shaped and yet the model was always gliding them over her shoulder or calf or whatnot.

The adorable Oui (available in several colors) is listed in Sensual Massage section and billed as small and discreet. True and true. It packs a hell of a wallop for something so tiny, I'll tell you that. And though it's a sensual personal massager, I don't think most women are buying it for their shoulders or their calves. A bit too high powered for my non-shoulder region, but we're all built different. Maybe perfect for my non-shoulder region once it's warmed up, so to speak. Still it did it's job rather well, if I do say, "Oui, oui, oui!" myself.

So the verdict for this big present in a little package is: I put it in my person because I can work around the high powered issue and you never know when you are going to get stranded somewhere or have to stay overnight and your shoulder just really needs a good buzz...I mean, vibrate! Massage!

Cheap, pretty, practical, portable and useful. I say that translates to: Sold. Hell, get two, they're small.

XOXO

Sommer

simmer... bumped, pumped, pimped...

My friend Ed said that he was a master of Word Twist the other day. Ever played? I have. I loved it but only until it said: Your free sessions have ended. To subscribe go here. Then the love affair ended.

I am enamored of people who play with words. And I don't just mean that they line them up in a nice little row in a good way so that it is pleasing to the ear or the eye. I could never be a true wordplay expert, not really, since I'm more a fan of foreplay or power play or even maybe pony play if you got me in the right mood. But that's just me.

The charming Confidant sent this to me this morning and I had to post. Seems I was his wordplay today. And god, I do love to be um...played with. See, that sounds much dirtier than it did in my head. Oh well, here ya go. I think TBC could give Dr. Seuss a run for his money.

Hi Sommer,

So, for any number of reasons, I was thinking about you today, and I played a little game in which I changed one letter in your name at a time to see when it led me. My only rule was that each change had to make a real, naughty-sounding word. I ended up going from SOMMER to LIMPED. Here's how it went down:

SOMMER

SIMMER

RIMMER

RAMMER

BAMMED

BUMMED

BUMPED

PUMPED

PIMPED

LIMPED

Hope your weekend was lovely!

all the best,

Confidant

Simmer...bumped, pumped, pimped...sounds like my to-do list!

XOXO

Commer. Oops! Sommer (actually I have typo-ed myself as Commer before but that is a whole other blog!)

cilantro, Tecate, fish tacos...oh my!

Neve's serving them up as we continue on our Spicy Sunday sex tour! What? Blog tour. Sorry.

That's cilantro in my front garden. It grows amongst the dill and the wildflowers and anything else brave enough to grow there!

XOXO

Sommer

the lookout...

He knows company is coming. And I thought the picture of the lookout was way better than the present picture of self. With electrocution hair and my Twick or Tweet Tweetie Bird pj pants and my Thunder From Down Under tank and my spastic-ness. Running from room to room getting ready for what promises to be a very great, momentous, awesome day full of fun and family and friends. Oh, my! Happy Saturday. Behave.

Why do I always say that? Do not behave. See, that is much better. When will I learn? Maybe I need a lesson. Maybe I need a spa---hmm, have gotten off track. Back tomorrow!

XOXO
Sommer

no, you're not insane...

i had this pic up earlier with a short blog, but then when i put up Alison Tyler's birthday blog (see below!), this picture and its blog jumped on top. rude blog!

anyway, i'll nutshell it: we are trying to get ready for party tomorrow. girl child is now a middle schooler! was on a getting ready roll last night. got jumped by man. wham, bam, who's your daddy? we messed up my neat bedroom. so i gave up for night. wandered around saying, 'where are my pants?'. we are having a lot of sex lately. not sure why. maybe it is the frantic more sex dance i'm doing naked in the moonlight in the backyard every night. who knows.

today was, cake, bbq sauce, vacuum, vacuum, vacuum, scrub bathroom (do not eat a minuscule amount of Comet even accidentally, just an FYI), took kids to lunch to say yay, end of school! son spent half the time pretending not to know me because mean kids were wandering in and out of Burger King. god, i love being appreciated. i'm hot, sweaty, ready for a shower and my burger did not like me.

oh, as for her up there, she looks as if she forgot something, yes? and as i said earlier and then deleted~ maybe she forgot to pour herself a big ass glass of wine! which is what I am going to do very shortly, friends and neighbors. right after that shower i just mentioned!

sorry marina for deleted your comment along with my post. and thank you for commenting to begin with!

XOXO

Sommer

happy birthday, frodo

If money were no object, I'd ask him to pick us up and drive us around in that ---->. I'd buy you tequila while we watched a movie. I'd treat you to new shoes and a few tees. I'd buy you all the red lipstick you coveted. I'd buy you all of her stock and most of hers.

But money is an object. The object being I have none. Instead, all I can offer you is my friendship. It is not bright or shiny any more. It is kind of dingy in places and dinged up a bit. I interrupt you on the phone to yell, "Put it down! No! Put it down! Do not do that...oh, boy, if you do that again I'm going to---hold on a minute, 'kay?"

I cannot recite the Godfather and tend to say things like, "She is dead to me, Frodo." (Which is mixing two movies from two genres but tickles me to no end)

I think red vines taste like lipstick. Which oddly... not so desirable in a candy.

I love cheeseburgers.

I mail you packages that DO NOT HAVE ENOUGH POSTAGE and you must pay RANSOM!

I do not like Yes. Scratch that. I HATE Yes.

I wear flip flops. Often.

I snort.

I have never pounded abalone.

I do not wear panties. Mostly.

I laugh at your dryer. And your phone CHORD.

I force you (apparently) at gunpoint to write notecards.

I tease you for mailing me potato chips.

And I love you. Oops. That one is a good one.

So it's not much and it's thoroughly used but it's all yours if you want it. My friendship. To the best friend I have never met but would gladly get shitfaced with and yell, "Before I like you...I don't like you! Fuhgeddabowdit!" Now, give me a big fat kiss and bend over, AT. I think we all owe you some birthday spanks. Booyah!

Happy birthday, AT.

XOXO
Sommer

confession of a mad housewife...

After the day I had yesterday, today started as a good day. My daughter graduated from the fifth grade today. I am now the mother of two middle schoolers. I slept for shit last night. We had huge storms that knocked out the power (and made me miss the NJ Housewives. Grrr). Then I could not sleep due to some insensitive and intrusive street lights and a lot of thoughts that would not shut it for the night. The flood of emotions at graduation had me physically and emotionally drained. Happy but like someone had pulled my drain plug.

After running around for a charity I came home and had zero energy for anything. I actually went up and laid in my bed and then shocked myself by promptly bursting into tears. Too much in my head, too much crushing down on me lately, too much pressure from everyone including myself directed at myself. I'd say it took the man a good 3 minutes to find me (I say that jokingly. That's pretty damn fast). I proceeded to sort of...dissolve all over our bed and him. Big wet, wracking girly sobs. Copious amounts of genuine tears as I cried all my graduation ceremony makeup off.

To quote him: A long time coming.

I tend to let the world sit on my shoulders until my knees start to knock. Then I cave like a wet paper cup (the really shoddily waxed kind).

So I cried. And I cried. And then we talked and then I cried some more. I cried until I had no more crying. Some of it from stress and sadness, some of it from joy, a lot of it from fear. And then I was done. I had cried and someone had held me and it was good and there was writing to be done and tacos to make and celebrating as two buses were coming home soon. So I peeled off my black Calvin Klein dress capris and grabbed my denim shorts and the first cracks rang out in our warm humid bedroom as I lifted my leg to put it through the leg hole.

The second and third and fourth cracks shuddered up my spine and warmed my body and cleared my mind and had me completely ready. I managed, somehow, to grab a bottle of lube as I was maneuvered. In my mind I knew this was going to fast and brutal, a total mental and physical reboot. And I was right. It was everything I needed standing there, on my tippy toes, bent over the big dresser as the mirror rocked against the wall with increasingly ominous raps. I prayed the mirror would not tip, I prayed it would not break, I prayed he would not stop fucking me until I was exactly where I needed to be. And felt all that I needed to feel. And *stopped* feeling all the stuff I was done with and needed gone. And I got my prayer. Perfectly, harshly and then softly and it was a fresh start. Tears and hugs and lube and sex in a muggy summer afternoon that marked the beginning of a new piece of this family's puzzle.

Later, after everyone was home, I walked upstairs to put away laundry. It was then that I saw the felled lube bottle. I had sat it upright on the dresser as I was bent like too-tall Barbie and angled and spread and taken. Somewhere in the riotous moment it had tipped and I had failed to notice, probably because I had my head down and was holding on for dear life, praying my calves didn't cramp, eyes on my Siren colored toenails. Anyway, it had tipped on my royalty statement for WCPT and it was, at that point, completely translucent with lube. But the good news, as shared with AT, was this: the lube is a fabulous furniture polish. My wood has not looked so good in a while.

Oh, and when I asked the man how he knew to look for me--how he knew something was wrong--he had seven words for me. "Easy, baby, you weren't at your computer."

XOXO
Sommer

Hump Day Heresy: Big, big bench seat in the front...

heresy: (her-i-se) n., pl. -sies: (2) Dissent from accepted or dominant opinion, doctrine or theory...

Today needs no intro other than: No one does nostalgia like P.S. Haven. Amen. Hallujah and all is right with the world...

First Time, Schmirst Time
by P.S. Haven

There’s a first time for everything. And those first times are usually fondly remembered, seems like. I’ll never forget my first concert or my first car or my first time seeing Star Wars. And of course, I’ll never forget my first time. But really, is that mystical, mythical first time all it’s cracked up to be? For my Hump Day Heresy, I thought I’d take a look at some pivotal first times in my life and try to decide if they lived up to the hype.

First car: I worshipped mine. Looking at a picture of her on my cork board in my cubicle as I type this. (yes, I know I should be drawing restaurant floor plans…) 1966 Ford Fairlane 500 XL. 390 cubic inch V8, 428 Cobra Jet heads, C6 Drag Pack tranny (that’s for shifting gears, not genders…). Rangoon red. Big, big bench seat in the front. Loved that car. Gave $2,400 for it in 1988. Had it almost 2 years before I smashed it into the bridge over I-40 one icy night. And thus ended my torrid affair with the Fairlane. But while it lasted it was great. That car was quite literally tangible freedom for me. But it was a rocky relationship. Lots of ups and downs. Countless times she left me stranded. Plenty of heartbreak. None more shattering than the morning I was set to drive her to the beach only to find out the hard way that the alternator was dead. Which prompted a quick call to my great aunt to plead with her to let me borrow her ’67 Dodge Coronet for a few days. Which she did. And yeah, a ’67 Coronet is still pretty bitchin’, but for a boy born under the Blue Oval like myself, cruising a Mopar down Ocean Boulevard was somewhat of an indignity. Now, 20 years later, I’ve got my ’67 Fastback. And she’s drop dead gorgeous. 289 small block, lots and lots (and lots) of blood, sweat and tears I’ve put into that car. The story of the hell I went through just to get her would fill an entire blog entry. So if I’m being honest, I’d have to say I’ve got more invested emotionally in my current old car than my first old car. But if some mysterious Muscle Car Mr. Roarke told me I could trade and get that old Fairlane back, I just might go for it. First car lived up to the hype? Yes.

First concert: Van Halen, Greensboro Coliseum, 1986. I’ve talked about this one before. The infamous “Do you swallow?” concert. Had terrible seats way off to the side. Even caught a glimpse of Valerie Bertinelli milling around backstage. Great show? Unquestionably. Greatest? No way. Not even the best Van Halen show I’d eventually see. (the best on-stage performance I would ever see would have to be Metallica in 1998. Fucking unreal. And the best overall concert experience would undoubtedly be the time my brother and I saw Iron Maiden in Switzerland. That’s right. Iron Maiden. Switzerland. I’ll save that story for another time.) But bad seats and drunk rednecks aside, that first VH show was a surreal experience. That palpable sense of excitement, knowing you’re in the same building, you’re breathing the same air as your idols. It was incredible. And I ate up every story Sammy Hagar told, genuinely believing we were the first audience to hear these tales of debauchery and mayhem. I wouldn’t realize till a year or so later that lead singers told the same anecdotes in every city. (I rented the VHS of “Live Without a Net”, the concert video of that tour, and my heart sunk when Sammy told the exact same story to New Haven, CT about Alex Van Halen and the burning tires that he’d told to G-boro…). And of course, the real highlight of the show was walking into 8th grade the next Monday with my official Van Halen concert shirt on. Because you might as well have not even gone if you didn’t come to school with the shirt. And they only cost $15 back then. I had really wanted the one that said “VAN HALEN KICKS ASS” on the back, but my step-mom was still doing my laundry when I was 14, and I knew that shit wouldn’t fly. But still. The other kids in shop class were in awe. And for one day, I was The Man. Would there be better concerts? Yep. But did it live up to the hype? Fuckin’ A, Bubba.

And of course, the biggie: sex. I lost my virginity when I was 18. Older than some, younger than some, I would imagine. But that’s beside the point here. We’re talking about hype and the living up to of such. And honestly, is there anything in anyone’s life more anticipated, more pondered over, more daydreamt about than this? Not in my life, Hoss. Although getting my driver’s license came pretty damn close. But even that monumental turning point paled in comparison. So, did it meet expectations? Well…yes and no. Because, honestly, I really only have vivid memories of the lead-up and those initial, wonderful moments. And then it was over really, really quickly after that. We were on the floor of my best friend’s parent’s living room. They were gone on vacation and were naïve enough to give me a key and ask me to feed their cats. Which I did. But I also used the place as a personal flop house all week, too. And despite the fact that the whole family was supposedly five hours away in Myrtle Beach, I was still paranoid as hell that they’d walk in any moment. Plus I was 18, like I said, and it was my first time. So yeah…it was quick. But it was great. It really was. More on an emotional level than a physical one, though. Because I was in love. I really was. For the first time. So it was important to me. And I had done plenty of other things sexually before then, so as far as the whole undiscovered country aspect of it, I had probably gotten more of a thrill out of a slightly different first time with different girl. Because I didn’t love that girl. And unlike the night I lost my virginity, I hadn’t woken up that morning thinking that tonight was the night. It just kind of happened, as it so often does. I’d been dating this girl a few months, she was a cashier at the grocery store where I bagged part time. And we were hanging out watching TV on her couch after work one night. Her folks were snoring away down the hall, her younger sister was asleep on the couch next to us. And my girlfriend was still in her polyester Food Lion uniform, complete with bell bottoms and pizza collar. And we were kissing and necking and other assorted methods of high-schoolery. And slowly, deliberately, I worked my way around her neck, onto her shoulder, then lifted up her smock and began to kiss her back, down, until I was nibbling and lapping at the small of her back, knowing I would be shooed away any minute. But then, with a miraculosity (how about that word) akin to Moses parting the Red Sea, she snatched her pants down around her thighs and presented me with her naked teenaged ass, right in my face. And I quite literally dove in, eating her ass with all my power. My god, I thought my heart was going to punch right through my sternum. Fuck, I’m getting a little trembly just writing this. It was absolutely fucking amazing. The suddenness of it. The unexpectedness of it. Because up until that point we’d done nothing more than make out. And really, more than anything, the fact that for my very first ever sex act with a real live girl, I was eating her ass. Of course it lasted all of about 30 seconds before she got scared her sister would wake up and she yanked up her pants and made me go home. But yeah, that night, that was my real first time. And with apologies to fine young lady who took my virginity, it can’t hold a candle in my memory to that other first time. And to this day, that’s still my favorite thing to do. I love it. And in an ironic twist of fate, I now work just down the street from the house where it happened, so every time I leave work I drive past that old run-down place and think about that night. And my pulse quickens a little bit. Every time.

And you know what? I began this column thinking I’d show how first times were okay, but usually not as good we remember them (hence the title). But damn if I didn’t just convince myself that first times (mine, at least) are, in fact, every bit as wonderful I remember. So, how about y’all? First time the best time? Or far from it? You know I wonder about you...

P.S. Haven’s work has been published at scarletletters.com, cleansheets.com and ruthiesclub.com, as well as in the International Journal of Erotica, the Best American Erotica Series, B is for Bondage, X: The Erotic Treasury and many others. His erotic illustrations are available for purchase at his Etsy store. He lives in Winston-Salem, North Carolina and can be found online at Faster, Baby (his blog) and his website.

Well, my first time was to a little ditty on U2's Joshua tree. I was wearing button fly 501 jeans and it was raining. School had just started and yes, Virginia, I was in love. Play all you like, boys and girls. I'll be popping in later today to say howdy. My girl child graduates 5th grade today and then I have some running to do for a charity event.

And I forgot. First car, p-o-s Mercury Lynx that did the job. No backseat, peeling paint and it was on its death bed two seconds after I paid the man. But my second car, ah...she was a gray '66 Mustang coupe and my third...a white '66 Mustang coupe. She's currently starring in a book under consideration. Some loves never die, do they, dear reader?

Behave! Scratch that! Go crazy with the Cheez Whiz. Now, that's better.

XOXO
Sommer

'she's having a day...'

My grandmother used to say that when we were all growing up and someone was either having a shitty day or was grumpy and making other people have a shitty day. There is a ton going on here and not all of it is good. But there is good stuff, too. Normal stuff. And oh, work stuff. That's a lot of stuff, if you can count, and I know you can. That is also the reason for the 'day'. I had a day the day this picture was taken. I burned the rice pot. As you can see, *that day* is not today's day because I am wearing my wiener dog slippers which means it was chilly. Today, on *this day* it is fucking 310 degrees. Okay, okay! It is 132 degrees. I was exaggerating.

I did not burn the rice pot (that pic is named: fuckingricepot...click it if you don't believe me) today. Today I have managed to do good stuff, bad stuff, dumb stuff and sort of come unglued. But I have not: fallen down, set fire to anything, spit on anybody (yes, i am now getting the spit pron searches), or spontaneously combusted.

I did get some v. nice feedback on something. Was asked if I would do something that could pan out to be pretty cool. Did a good deed, and managed a meager amount of time on current story (deadline looming) and have ideas coming into my head so fast I'm searching for my white flag to staunch the flow.

I have also been pissed off, insulted, and possibly accidentally cut off a lady on one of those hovercrafty looking things that Walmart has for the disabled.

Counting the minutes till wine time and is 99% sure that tonight is Real Housewives of NJ (oh, please say it is so!)

XOXOSommer

My Dirty Monday: Big Ass Fixation 4

I had four days with the man over the last few days. And yes, there was sex. And sex toys! (true story). But there was also ***drum roll, please*** Porn! We got to sit down together for the first time in years. YEARS! And watch porn. We were very excited. We had the house to ourselves, it was a beautiful day, the windows were open (no shit) and we sat down to watch us some porn on DVD!

I had, for this momentous occasion, voluneteered to review Tom Byron's Big Ass Fixation 4. Why? I have a big ass, the man likes the big ass, and it looked fun. I will admit to being (we're talking DVD) porn naive. I have seen a handful of porn movies in my day and the one that I still remember (and would buy if I could find it) was a weird offbeat, funky movie called Pussy Kat A Go-Go from the 90's. But I digress. It was me, the man, Tom Byron and his big assed women.

Something I noted immediately: there is an alarming amount of spitting going on in porn. Is this new? I should say *this* porn. I should not generalize. But three of the six big assed girls spit on Tom's cock. I'm sorry. I am truly not trying to be um...naive or sheltered, but when did we start spitting on each other? I can watch just about any kind of fucking you can offer, but for some reason, the spitting really rattled me. I had to look away.

I also noted (and the man remarked as well) that the scenario for every single woman was the same. Blow job for Tom (poor Tom, he's a trooper), ass eating for the big assed girl (again Tom is a trooper, because either Tom deserves an academy award or he sincerely enjoys eating big ass), then some kind of fucking, and a cum shot on the booty. Which is all fab and grand and got both of us hot and bothered, but I could have done with a bit of the mix up to keep me on my toes. Or on the man's toes. On someone's toes.

Something I noted that was awesome: These women truly have big asses. And they have real bodies! They are not inflatable Barbies with fake boobs that look like halved coconuts being smuggled under tanning booth skin. Nope! Curvy, real women, with real tits and real asses. Real. Big. Asses. I'm telling you, my bottom felt positively peach-sized after watching this movie and I got jumped multiple times. Which is the points. So, I give Tom and his big ass girls two thumbs up and a request for no spitting in #5!

XOXO
Sommer
p.s. sorry for the delay today, technology in multiple forms has not been my friend. om... ;)

p.p.s. i came back in to fix the word 'beautiful' that blogger shrunk to a positively unreadable size and fixed the girls fake 'books' and turned them back into fake 'boobs.' Om...

all a'muss with a toe ring and a twist of lime...

It's been one of those days since the moment my feet hit the floor. Not enough coffee on earth. Warm outside but not too hot. A bit restless. A ton of sticky notes all over my desk. Deadlines that seem to be jumping up and waving because it is already a week into June. Already! Oh shit! School ends this coming week. A graduation party at my house for girl child Saturday. And the calendar is filling up fast. I had to get my attitude on.

Today I went for Diva. The cut offs with the patches on the insides of the thighs, the black artsy-chic tank with no bra, the big ass sunglasses. Barefoot, toe ring, no makeup. Short hair a'muss (is that a word?). If the last few days has been any indication, our sex zodiac is in high moon retrograde with a twist of lime (where is Neve when you need her to translate this stuff?). What I mean is at any moment I might get laid. This lends a shimmering action-adventure kind of feel to the day. Oh! And things are hot and spicy over at Erobintica's as we continue on with the spicy Sunday sex tour! What? Oops. Blog tour! If you missed last Sunday's it was here. ;)

XOXO
Sommer