I saw myself in the book store today...

...in this book, The Sweetest Kiss: Ravishing Vampire Erotica. I looked fabulous! And so did everyone else. Congrats to D.L. King on a sensuous, bloody good book. Yes, yes, I stroked myself in the aisle. My title page of course, don't be such a pervert ;)

XOXO
S

Chaos!

If I had to choose one word, and one word only, to describe my life, Chaos would be my choice. Totally. And lookie here, my friend Barb has a release today over at Ellora's Cave (hey, is it only me or does that whole 'release' statement work really well for this genre?) called Chaos. Here is a sexy little blurb.

Blurb: When Shane McKade wakes up trapped in a bed, handcuffed to Alyssa Campini, he figures things could be worse. She aggravates him to no end but sex with the sassy photographer is smokin’.

Alyssa met McKade while photographing street gangs, and the hot cop has been a thorn in her side ever since. His only redeeming feature is an ability to deliver twenty-four orgasms in twenty-four hours—if he can stop arguing with her long enough, that is.

Then Shane is shot protecting one of Alyssa’s gang kids. When both find their lives in danger, perhaps it’s time to stop fighting and start evaluating what they mean to each other…before it’s too late.

Here is a smoldering little link and if you want a nice, satisfying excerpt go here. Tada!

I made a grilled cheese this a.m. Only took an hour, mind you. Thaw the gf, casein free, ingredient free bread, find the cheese, check the website to see if the cheese is gluten free. Can't find it, do web search, find an Australian update on the food, but this is the US so do another search. Go all around the mulberry bush. Finally, find a source hope can trust. Make fucking grilled cheese. Eat it. It is gone. Do you see all that work I did? The good news is my skinny jeans fit because I'm burning calories researching my food and waiting and waiting and waiting to see if I can actually eat it! They call it hump day for a reason, friends and the reason is not always because you get banged like a drum on Wednesdays. Though, a girl can hope.

Off to call doc for kiddo number two. See, Chaos. But I like Barb's version better.

XOXO

Sommer

orgasmically good food alert!

Hang in with me, folks. Every day is an adventure in the land of food and I plan to give shout outs to yummy edibles I find along my gluten free travels. Today, I found these. And since they say right on the bag Celiac Friendly and swear to goodness, I damn near stuck my head in the bag and ate my way out the other end of the Parmesan & Sun Dried Tomato kind...I'm throwing an on the fly, gluten-free spotlight at you. Insanely good gourmet brown rice crisps in a variety of flavors. If you visit their site they even have a printable coupon. I have a bag of Sea Salt ones in my pantry as we speak. I'm willing to wager they don't survive the TV snack hour. Yum, yum, yum and safe to eat for those of us who can't do gluteny grains.

Everyone should be able to snack in peace, yes?

XOXO

Sommer

p.s. you should totally eat these even if you could sit down and eat a bucket of raw wheat and barley and wash it down with beer, they are that good!

if i had a sewing machine...

I still would not know what to do with it! I covet this coat so hard I can't see straight. My birthday is in two months and two days. Anyone want to spring for this fantastic Peony coat in a Large. Pour moi? I mean, how good would this look with my busted up boyfriend jeans, my red ankle boots, my favorite charcoal skinny turtleneck and my SLUT pendant? So good you could just spit? Yeah, I agree. But for now, I'll have to stare at it and simply...whimper with desire.

XOXO
Sommer
p.s. I want this with such a fiery want that I cannot even remember what I was on Etsy for to begin with. Damn. Back to the drawing board...I'll remember why I'm there. Eventually.

My Dirty Monday: Fleur-De-Lis Silky G

I love, love, love the Evolved products thus far. The Fleur-De-Lis was no exception. And the vibes are, in my humble opinion, sort of like the Cadillac of vibes. Inside your average looking package, they show up in these smoking hot metal tins with a clear window to showcase the vibe (but discreetly slipped into a white paper sleeve for the recipient's protection). Multi-speed, waterproof, a silken texture and quiet! You won't believe how quiet. Another discreet vibe I'd recommend tossing in your suitcase for some vacation fun. Great for the shower or for late night pre-sleep orgasms.

If you handed me this vibe all by itself and out of its packaging, I'd guess the list price to be around mid-forties, low-fifties, so even I was floored when I looked up the Fleur-De-Lis Silky G for review and saw that it was only $29.95. Well, all I could say to that was "ooh-la-la!". Final verdict, an awesome toy. Two thumbs up and a big, big smile. Gotta love the G-spot toys. If you're going to have a guilty pleasure, it should involve your G-spot ;)

XOXO

Sommer
p.s. stay tuned for a future Evolved review. I'm not done yet!

*Sex toys provided by SexToy.com home of the biggest selection of vibrators online

Nom, nom, nom!

First really fast, off the cuff, seat of my pants GF spotlight is Betty Crocker's brand spanking (ooh!) new GF mixes. Thank you, Betty! So far we have tried the brownies (my god, it was like battling a pack of wildebeests just to get two of them!) and the chocolate chips cookies, which got crisp buttery edges just like I love. I would take these to a party or a kid function in a heartbeat because no one would guess they were gluten-free if you didn't tell them. It can be your little secret and you can eat them with peace of mind. More info on the BC site.

Tomorrow it's back to toy reviews. I missed a week, so I'm an eager beaver to get back to them. Heh, sorry, I couldn't resist ;)

XOXO
Sommer

Meet my shiny new disease...

So many of you have listened/read/commented/emailed me over the last two years on various mystery maladies. And I appreciate your support. So, I feel that all of you deserve to meet my shiny new disease. People, meet Celiac. Celiac, meet people. After two years of various issues where I swore I was disassembling piece by piece at the tender ages of the mid thirties...I have a diagnosis.

I will spare you the long drawn out details. I'm sure I will drop little blogs here and there with various stories as time passes. For now, I'll say it started with dizziness, instability. a running joke of chronic 'senility' (read as fuzzy headed, clouded thinking, no short term memory). We then moved on to vision issues, stomach issues, various nearly debilitating joint issues. Remember right knee out, shoulder out, left knee out? LOL. And finally a full on horrible itchy rash that no one could figure (after a marathon week of seafood. Can you say Iodine is a trigger?)

By fluke or universal design, I happened to be thumbing through a back issue of Vegetarian Times and reading about gluten intolerance, celiac and wonderful new pastas for sufferers made from corn and rice. I didn't give it a second thought, until my mother mentioned being tested for it by her gastro doc. Hmm. Celiac, I just read about that. FF>> to getting out the book above Celiac Disease: A Hidden Epidemic. Every page was an aha moment (to pilfer from Oprah). My running joke lately has been "I quit smoking two years ago and have never felt worse". And it was true. Every single symptom of celiac I had in one form or another. When I read the very short paragraph titled Smoking and Celiac and it said [para] that smoking can actually hinder the symptoms of celiac for indefinite amounts of time and then when you quit, the disease manifests, I called my doctor.

So...blood tests, scans and a punch biopsy later: I have Celiac. Tada!

Oddly enough, I am relieved. It means I am a) not crazy b) not falling apart c) the beast of indefinite sickness has a name. The "cure"? No gluten. Celiac is an auto immune disorder triggered by gluten. I count myself lucky that I have an AI disease where the trigger has been identified. I count myself lucky that diet will mostly cure this. I count myself lucky that I have a doctor who did not let her ego get in the way when I came to her with the evidence but instead said: I think you've figured it out. I think you're very close to a diagnoses. I count myself lucky that I have so many of you emailing support to me. And...I count myself lucky that there is no gluten in wine, starbursts or potatoes.

My life will now be reading every single label. And as an aside, if you work for a food company or someone who markets snacks, I will go above and beyond and yes, spend a little more money to support the companies that take the extra time to put this on their product: THIS IS A GLUTEN-FREE FOOD. Why? Because as a busy mother, self-employed workaholic, I do not want to have to read every damn label all the way through looking for wheat/gluten buzzwords. If I pick up ketchup (Heinz for instance) that takes the time to put that on their label and theirs is 30 cents more than the one right next to it that does not, I will support the GF marked product.

What else, you ask? Well, look for Gluten-free food spotlights here. Because if I'm going to have this damn disease, then I will share any spectacular foods I find with others Celiac sufferers. Hmm. What else? I have the best man in the world. He has already mastered pancakes, muffins and corn tortillas homemade on a press! ole! He also already knows more about Celiac than I do and is reading cookbooks like a fiend. I now worship the corn and the potato (even more), my friend. And I thank you from the bottom of my gluten free heart for all of your support. You truly rock!

XOXO
Sommer

as of today...

I own a teenager. Don't worry. He's mine. I went through all the hard work to bring him into this world. No need to alert the authorities ;)

This is my favorite picture of him. And him, well he is one of my favorite people in the whole world. And would be even if he weren't mine. He is just that cool.

Happy 13th, boy child! (not that he will see this...but still)

XOXO

Sommer

i'm over --->

at the eXcessica blog today talking about my short attention span, weather and writing. Three great things that go great to--ah, nevermind. Just pop in if you get a chance!

XOXO
Sommer

Pleasurists #47

via latexfetishheels

Pleasurists is a round-up of the adult product and sex toy reviews that came out in the last seven days from bloggers all around the sex blogosphere. Did you miss Pleasurists #46? Read it all here. Do you have a review for Pleasurists #48? Submit it here before Sunday September 27th at 11:59pm PDT. Please re-post this list on your own blog if listed.

Want to win some free swag? All you’ve got to do is enter.

• Giveaway: Hard Love and How to Fuck in High Heels Deadline: September 25th.
• Our First Contest Deadline: Sunday Sept. 27th 12 AM.
• Top Five Tuesday – Win 1000 FREE Porn Minutes Deadline: Tuesday September 29th.

Madame Editrix

Scarlet Lotus St. Syr

On to the reviews…

Vibrators

• Hitachi Magic Wand by namelesschaos
• Treeze Wave by Carrie Ann
• Sinnflut Benjamin Bond by Carrie Ann
• Epona by ScottA
• Papaya Toys Rainbow by Toygirl
• Je Joue SaSi by Amber from Scarlet’s Letter
• Doc Johnson Wish-Bone by Lexi B.
• Fun Factory Patchy Paul by Femme Mystique
• Petite Couture Silhouette by Femme Mystique
• White Nova Bottle Rocket by Carnivalesq
• Trinity 10-Speed Vibrating Egg by Domina Doll
• Water Dancer by Arron Leone

Dildos

• Tantus Alumina Motion by Beautiful Dreamer
• Leo by Carrie Ann
• Pink Bent Graduate by Carrie Ann
• Thrust by HotMoviesForHer Sex Toy Crew
• Njoy Fun Wand by Undressed Reviews
• Leo by Carnivalesq
• Jackhammer Jesus by Domina Doll
• Timber Wolf by Domina Doll

Anal Toys

• Cody by AveryDragon
• Nobessence Romp by Beautiful Dreamer

Toys for Cocks

• Fun Factory Loverings by Melen’s Rayne

Lube, Massage Oil, Bath Stuff, & etc.

• Intimate Organics Hydra by The Duchess
• Intimate Organics Hydra by Adriana
• Swede Fruity Massage Oil by Carrie Ann
• Sliquid Sassy by Saraid

BDSM/Fetish

• Vampire Gloves by Red
• Strict Leather Suede Flogger by Beautiful Dreamer
• Zeus Electrosex Power Box by Red
• Japanese Drip Candles by Sommer Marsden
• Rainbow Nights Paddle by Melen’s Rayne
• Spartacus Black and Blue Strap Whip by Melen’s Rayne
• Sportsheets Impressions Paddle “Slut” by Melen’s Rayne
• Tantric Satin Ties Wrist Cuffs by Femme Mystique
• Pipedream Nipple Clamps by Melen’s Rayne

Adult Books

• Female Ejaculation and the G-spot by Adriana
• Tristan Taormino’s Opening Up by Red

Adult Movies/Porn

• Drill Baby Drill by The Porn Librarian
• Dark Angels 2 by FrzKey
• Autopilot Volume 1 – Dana Dearmond by The Porn Librarian
• Crash Pad Series – Episode 22: Brett & Ian by J.D. Bauchery
• Strip Bowling by J.D. Bauchery

Sex Furniture

• Liberator Cube by Red
• Fetish Pleasure Pad by Undressed Reviews

Miscellaneous

• Babeland Toy Cleaner by Melen’s Rayne
• Vegan Commando Harness by Femme Mystique

help save the ta-ta's

My very cool friend/editor Mr. Tandy is participating in honor of boobies everywhere. Won't you help save the ta-ta's? No amount is too small (just like no breasts are 'too small'!) and they even take Paypal! You have no idea how excited I was to be able to use Paypal. I hope you will show some love. Because let's face it, we all enjoy a nice healthy, blushing pair of ta-ta's.

Thanks in advance!

XOXO
Sommer

oh, i laughed and i laughed...

see more Fail Blog

When I saw this. I'm busy wrapping up some work stuff today. I have good news soon. I'm very excited about it.

Happy Hump Day. I have a smoking hot date with the doctor later this a.m. for test results. Okay, so he is not smoking hot nor is it a date. But it sounds better that way and I don't feel as nervous when I think about it. I'm weird that way ;)

XOXO
Sommer

i'm having an attack!

Of the panicky kind. I can't tell you why just yet because I am also superstitious-esque. But let's just say, this is right up there with the dream where you are running but not moving, or you show up to class naked, or you need to scream but nothing comes out.

On the upside, I do not feel like shit on a stick today. I am feeling almost human. Thank you for all the well wishes folks. Now...wish me luck! Eek!

XOXO

Sommer

it must be *show me your cock* week...

I've gotten so many hits this week for that search or similar. It always amuses me to see how people find me. I'm big with the cock crowd, it seems. Those who want to show them and those who want to see them. Where does it lead them, you ask. To one of my favorite stories ever. The one that kicked off the Blow Hard Tour 2009, of course.

XOXO

Sommer

p.s. feel free to keep those cocks, um...coming.
p.p.s. Lurve this shirt. I need one. Might not really work on me but I rarely let the details hang me up...

cracks me up...

...every damn time. Cookie Monster is a favorite of mine. When my son sent me this, I laughed and laughed (until I triggered a coughing fit). Big sick girl on the mend outing today...drum roll, please...the grocery store!

Yesterday was spent on the sofa watching SyFy horror movies, mostly. And I have to admit, barring the feeling like shit part, it was goooooood.

XOXO
Sommer

i just never realized john wayne walked like that...

One of my all time favorite movie scenes. One of my all time favorite movies. Speaking of movies, I'm watching some bad ones on SyFy today and feeling a bit better. Good enough that I ran girl child to a class. Bad enough that doing just that kicked my ass. Mindless TV for the rest of the day. I've been catching some of my favorite older unappreciated movies this week. The 'Burbs with Tom Hanks, Funny Farm with Chevy Chase, The Dark Half with Timothy Hutton. Fabulous. Almost worth being sick for. I said almost.

XOXO
Sommer

sorry...

...for the radio silence. I am currently v. sick. I'll be back soon when this virus is done kicking my ass to hell and back. I've actually been on the sofa, watching movies, dozing and generally staying off line. Which means--you guessed it--check the weather report because Hell MUST have frozen over.


If I owe you anything, I'm getting there. I'm not sure if this is the flu or just a very robust cold. All I know is that my brain function is running in the negatives. Happy Friday, everyone. Be good. Aw hell, just don't get arrested...

XOXO
Sommer

where are my fuzzy socks?

My girl child is so generous. She has given me a big basketful of her cold germs! Today it's cool, overcast and rainy and I have a good dose of the sniffles. I have to run out for errands but then I have a date with my ugly sweats, fuzzy socks, three open ended projects on my laptop, Bravo TV and my big brown sofa.

Or maybe I'll say screw it all and take a nap. Ugh.


XOXO
Sommer

bad dreams

All fucking night long. Those semi-lucid, half awake, not wanting to think about stuff but doing it anyway kind of dreams that had me groaning like a dying woman when the alarm went off and I realized that it was still dark out and I had to get up. So, today I am tired and semi-haunted. Trying to work and function and think in a straight line. Not too easy, might I say.

Okay, there's bad and there's bad. Last night was a bad night but definitely not an It, Pennywise, Stephen King has me to scared to walk near a sewer drain, take a shower too close to the shower drain, sit on the toilet longer than necessary kind of bad. And for that I am happy. And if you don't know what I'm talking about then you have never read IT nor would you understand why I shiver and quake whenever the talented Mr. Tandy has mentioned clowns to me. Eep!

Off I go, to stumble through my day.

XOXO

Sommer who is grieving the handsome, talented Patrick Swayze because some of my first truly dirty thoughts were had sitting in a dark movie theatre watching Dirty Dancing (20th Anniversary Edition)with that boy...

hey...

to all of you who posted comments or emailed me behind the scenes (or both!) regarding my hiatus. I appreciate your good thoughts and wishes. I have no news yet, good or otherwise, but fingers are crossed and my mental health break went much smoother knowing I had you all in my corner. Not to be smushy, but you guys rock! :)

XOXO
Sommer

My Dirty Monday: Japanese Drip Candles

Wax play is relatively new to me. I loved these three chunky Japanese Drip Candles mostly because unwrapped and lit they have a very Gothic, B-movie set feel to them. If that makes any sense to anyone but self. Basically, I would not be surprised to see them in a Vincent Price movie, and to me--that rocks. They burn slowly and have no odor. The color is basically topical, meaning whitish pale wax. And yowza! Unlike the Ceduxion massage candle I reviewed, this wax comes off a bit hotter. Not hot enough to burn the skin but hot enough to make a newbie skittish wax wuss like me carry on like I was being scalded. But I wasn't. So as far as the pain pleasure principal goes, it was enough pain to make me bitch but perfect to spike the delivered pleasure immediately after.

I learned something about myself. For someone who will gladly brandish (and earn) a rainbow of various hued bite marks or spank welts, I sure carry on like a girl if you drip a bit of hot wax on me. Which only makes the punishment worse. Which...only makes the pleasure better.

Final verdict: two thumbs up but be wary of temperature if you are used to lower heat wax. Stock up for Halloween, I say. Use them for ambiance and then when all the wicked little trick-or-treaters are gone for the night, lock up, draw the shades and get a bit wicked yourself.

XOXO
Sommer

* Get your Japanese Drip Candles and other Sex toys at SexToy.com home of the biggest selection of vibrators online

hiatus

I'm going on a brief hiatus. I'm not sure how long. I've been sick off and on for a few years now. It's all coming to a bit of a head and a diagnosis may be in my near future. I hope so. If what I suspect is accurate, I can then get on with the business of healing. I struggled with whether or not to post this because I know myself and when I back off of the internet, I'm suddenly on more than ever.

However, I have most of my projects at a stage where I can take a few days. So, if I owe you an email or a review or any of that, please be patient. I have hit the point where I simply need to be for a bit and hope that this can all get wrapped up in a neat little package that makes sense. I know this particular blog is not really very funny/sexy/hot/entertaining, but if you are new to Smut Girl, I'm sure that you can find plenty to entertain you in the back log. Plenty of funny/sexy/hot/entertaining to go around.

Fingers crossed. I'm still checking emails so feel free to email as usual, just be patient because I may not answer you in 4.5 seconds like I normally do.

I may be gone all week, I may be on after dinner. With me, no one can ever tell. Including me.;)

XOXO
Sommer

Pleasurists #45

From ruero.

Pleasurists is a round-up of the adult product and sex toy reviews that came out in the last seven days from bloggers all around the sex blogosphere. Did you miss Pleasurists #44? Read it all here. Do you have a review for Pleasurists #46? Submit it here before Sunday September 13th at 11:59pm PDT. Please re-post this list on your own blog if listed.

Want to win some free swag? All you’ve got to do is enter.

• Anniversary Contest! A Story of You Deadline: September 12, 11:59pm Pacific.
• BBG’s Big Bad Contest Deadline: September 12, 2009.
• BBG’s Big Bad Contest- The Grand Fucking Prize Deadline: September 13, 2009.
• Community Interview with Doc Johnson Deadline: September 13th.
• Anal Pleasure Kit Contest Deadline: September 14th.
• Contest: Win an Njoy Pure Wand! Deadline: September 16th, 2009 at Midnight Eastern.
• Giveaway: Hard Love and How to Fuck in High Heels Deadline: September 25th.
• Top Five Tuesday – Win 1000 FREE Porn Minutes Deadline: Tuesday September 29th.

Madame Editrix

Scarlet Lotus St. Syr

Editor’s Pick

• The Ethical Slut by Beautiful Dreamer



“How many people have you had sex with?” A few guys answered, I cheekily put in “I can just barely count them on my fingers and toes.” One of the guests, for whatever reason, yelled “Damn, your girlfriend is a slut!”. Aidan calmly & cooly replied, “Yes, she likes sex, where is there a problem in that?”

After all, my self pleasure and self respect should be all that counts. Not a number, not the kind of relationship I’m in, nor my sexuality. I am a slut. This book not only empowers that, it celebrates it.

On to the reviews…

Vibrators

• Miracle Massager & G-Spot Accessory by Joan Price
• LELO Liv by Miss KissThis
• Ideal by Beautiful Dreamer
• Benjamin Bond by Eliot Bodem
• Triple Luxe by Eliot Bodem
• Fun Factory LayaSpot by Backseat Boohoo
• Earth Angel by Amber from Scarlet’s Letter
• California Exotic “Gracious” Couture Vibe by The Duchess
• Brigit by Melen’s Rayne
• LELO Gigi by The Countess
• Acuvibe Mini by Mina Meow

Dildos

• Fun Factory Curve by Scarlet Lotus St. Syr
• VixSkin Goodfella by Mina Meow
• Dai-Do #2 by HotMoviesForHer Sex Toy Crew
• Feeldoe Stout by Essin’ Em
• Mr. Bendy by Mina Meow

Anal Toys

• Moon Plug Xhale Glass by Carrie Ann
• Tantus Severin Medium by Wilhelmina Wang
• Fun Factory Bootie by Mina Meow

Toys for Cocks

• The Blossom Sleeve by True Pleasures
• Adam & Eve Reversible Stroker by Carrie Ann

Lube, Massage Oil, Bath Stuff, & etc.

• Good Clean Love Lube by Backseat Boohoo
• ID Him Leather Scented Lubricant by Carly Drew
• Babeland Massage Cube by Sexorcism
• Jo Warming Lubricant by Alley
• Inttimo Aromatherapy Massage Oil by Mina Meow

BDSM/Fetish

• Zeus Deluxe Digital Power Box by Red

Adult Books

• Bottoms Up: Spanking Good Stories,’ edited by Rachel Kramer Bussel by Sarah Estrella
• Kama Sutra Pillow Book by Sommer Marsden

Adult Movies/Porn

• Hard Love and How to Fuck in High Heels by Essin’ Em
• Cameron Jackson by The Porn Librarian
• China DeSade by FrzKey
• Her Porn Volume 1 (Disc 1) Scene 1 by J.D. Bauchery
• Rich Dreams by The Porn Librarian
• Words Worth Vol. 1 by FrzKey

Storage

• FYN Adult Toychest by Beautiful Dreamer
• FYN Essential Wristlet, FYN 5 incher, FYN Girl’s Best Friend by Carrie Ann

Lingerie

• Wet Look halter and crotchless panty with garter by Valyn
• Mesh ruffled bustier with g-string by Valyn

Miscellaneous

• Babeland Toy Cleaner by Carrie Ann
• SpareParts’ Joque Harness by HotMoviesForHer Sex Toy Crew
• G Spotter Attachment by Mina Meow

lots of water, blurbs and breaking rules...

Spent the weekend vegging out like a normal non-internet addicted person. Wasn't feeling hot so I got babied and coddled and cooked for and pumped full of water. I'd be a big fat liar if I said that being taken care of a little bit wasn't nice. I'm usually the caregiver and it was eye opening to sit back and let someone take care of me. I did something that I haven't done in a long time and I used to do at least once a week or more. I sat and read a whole book in the course of a little over twenty-four hours. Of course, I broke one of my cardinal rules. I read the third in a trilogy first. But that just proves that Halloweenland is a good book. Once I figured out it was three of three, I was too far into the story to stop. So, I think I'll go backwards now to one and two.

I also stumbled over this and wow, check out the blurb.

Ranging from the short and ever-so-sweet to make-you-cry passionate, Best Lesbian Romance 2010 is essential reading for anyone who favors the highly imaginative, the deeply sensual, and the very loving. Radclyffe's romance collections are eagerly anticipated each year because they keep getting better and better. Best Lesbian Romance 2010 revels in the seduction, love, and relationships that happen between women. All readers will enjoy these stories of romance by the best in the genre, including Sommer Marsden, Sacchi Green, Evan Mora, Andrea Dale, and the grand master Radclyffe herself. Whether readers are looking for young love, mature love, or lost love, these stories will more than fill the bill. Contributors include Colette Moody, Hannah Quin, Anna-Marie McLemore, Jean Roberta, Nell Stark, Trinity Tam, Shannon Dargue, Erin O'Riordan, and Dalia Craig.

Seriously, I never ever get used to seeing my name in promotion copy. It's always a little shocking thrill. And I love that cover. And am thrilled to be included in Best Lesbian Romance 2010. With a cherry on top.

Today is back to work on current WIP, lots of water, kind of drifting through the day. I'm still adjusting to having my two sidekicks out of the house for school. I talk to the weiner dog. A lot. :)

XOXO

Sommer

happy and sad...

I'm happy to say that my story "The End of the Rainbow" is up as the free read on the Ruthie's Club website. I'm sad to say RC will be shutting down soon, at least temporarily. I'm crossing my fingers that everything works out for a comeback in '10. I don't know how many people know, but Ruthie's published my very first dirty story ever, Masturbation 101 and the editors there played a huge part in me pursuing erotica. I owe them much thanks and a great many kisses and my sincerest hopes that RC will be back one day, better and hotter and dirtier than ever.

XOXO

Sommer

i have no idea what to do...

with my day. I can't remember the last time this happened. Kids are off with their cousins, man is puttering in the yard. I am...?

I could write, but honestly, I've been on a bit of a writing tear lately and I don't want to. There. I said it. I finished my edits and turned in my final. Hallelujah. I...I...um. I don't know. I'm a bit aimless at the moment. I'm starting to realize after the last four years of working almost 24/7 for myself, that I now suck at down time. I look at a big open day of whatever I want and I feel panic stricken. What do I do? What do I do!? I have no fucking idea. I used to be the queen of kicking back, now...not so much.

Well, I'm off to...um...well, hell. Nope. Still don't know.

XOXO
Sommer

so we had a little chat...

And my boot purchase was approved. Three times...

XOXO
Sommer

Everyone in the world would be able to see my ass cheeks...

I'm up to my hairline in an errata today. Oh my! But I'm putting up a red hot excerpt from Femme Fatale to match my red hot new boots. I'm so exciting to share my news, but I'm also paranoia girl who thinks that if I say now then something will happen. So, I'll put my head down and work and be patient. Me, patient. Who is laughing? I can hear you!

Happy Friday!

XOXO

Sommer

Excerpt from Femme Fatale by Sommer Marsden:

“Oh, my god! You want me to wear this?” I held up the skirt that Femme had made for me. Well, skirt was stretching it. A skirt covered your ass. This was more like a really wide headband that had a skull bleached onto it. A very cool effect, but my God! Everyone in the world would be able to see my ass cheeks.

“Oh, shit, is it too big?” she asked, looking concerned.

I stared at her in awe. There I stood in my red fishnets. A black thong over the top, bisecting my bottom and parting my cheeks. I would not even look in the mirror for fear of passing out. Now she wanted me to wear this ‘skirt’ that was smaller than most of the dinner napkins I have used.

“Too big! Where is the rest?” I would not cry. I would not cry.

Then she was laughing. Big whooping laughs that made the butterflies in my stomach that much worse because I was watching her lush, wide mouth thrown open, and I was envisioning what it would feel like to have her lips on my pussy. To have her tongue parting my nether lips. To have the hot pink warmth of her mouth on my clit. I shivered, my nipples poking blatantly against the red-satin bra she had molded to my body. She caught my body’s betrayal and murmured, “Nice,” before running her thumb over the peak of my nipple.

A spasm worked through my belly, warmth ignited inside of me, and moisture pooled in the tiny thong. Crap, the whole team would know I wanted to fuck Femme. “I can’t wear this,” I gasped.

“Sure you can. Let’s get you into it.” Her voice had dropped, and she turned me to the full-length mirror propped against the industrial gray wall.

“I’m not built like you,” I said, feeling so self conscious I thought I might actually expire.

“No, you’re built like you,” she s aid and bent, holding the wide band of black fabric open for me to step into. I did. One leg and then the other, but just to make her happy. “There you go.” The heat of her breath warmed the back of my neck and I suppressed another shiver. Her lips were so close to my ear when she said, “Let’s just adjust this a bit.”

Her hands poked and tugged at the skirt. The flat of her palm smoothed over my bottom, and my pussy fluttered at her touch. When she reached around from behind me to tug at the front, her breasts pressed, full and warm, to my back. I could feel her nipples, and in my mind flashed the vision of me licking her there. Taking her nipples into my mouth one at a time, licking the side swell of her breast. I wondered if her skin tasted like cinnamon, too.

“It will never look right.” My voice was husky.

“Sure it will. We just need to make sure you’re all put together. You don’t want to fall and give the audience a pussy shot.” I watched her hand disappear under my skirt, and she plucked and prodded at the tiny thong that barely covered me. When her finger touched my clit the first time, I could barely catch my breath, but I was certain it was an accident. She pressed her lips to my neck, and I trembled. Her finger found my now swollen clit again, and this time she stroked quite deliberately. “See, I think it looks lovely.”

“I…ah…”

“You’re wet. Are you excited? Are you nervous?”

I could only nod. The feel of her fingers on my clit and the friction of the fishnets and the slick moist thong on me was nearly incapacitating. The door swung open and my breath froze. But the brazen Femme never broke tempo. She stroked me more firmly, pressing her tits to my back, her tongue licking up my neck. I watched two bright red spots bloom on my face. Mark appeared over our shoulder. He smiled even though I wanted to melt into the floor and die.

“Ladies,” he said, nodding to our reflection in the mirror.

“Hi, baby,” Femme said. “I’m just trying to relax our newbie. Don’t you think a nice orgasm would relax her?”

Mark came in behind his wife. Kissed the back of her neck. Trailed his huge hands down the graceful line of her back. “I do think you’re right. But you’re always right, aren’t you?” There was real affection in his tone and his gaze. He loved her.

Her look was just as loving. Even as she pushed her elegant hand down the front of my panties, wiggled until it was under my hose and found my bare wetness. “Nice. You feel really nice, Molly.”

I blushed, flattered and horny and on the verge of begging. Please make me come. You, him, both of you. Please put me out of my misery. My heart hurts it’s going so fast, my stomach is buzzing. And I want you. The first woman I have ever wanted. Please kiss me. Down there…I bit my lip instead, hung my head shyly.

“Oh, don’t be embarrassed,” Mark said kindly. And it was a genuine kindness, not forced or cheesy. “She only goes after the prettiest girls.”

My head went up and my expression was grateful. Even I could see that. He winked at me. “Go on, baby, make her feel better. You’re good at it.”

Femme purred softly like a satisfied feline and somehow in a fluid motion, she was on her knees and peeling off the clothes she had so carefully layered on me. Mark reached back and locked the door to the teeny tiny dressing room.

I held my breath, watching her move toward me. Her full lips, her pink tongue, her long eyelashes and high cheekbones and then she glanced up with a sly grin and I was nailed by the gorgeous stare of those whiskey eyes. “Please,” I whispered.

She touched me with the tip of her tongue first. Just the tip. I felt like I’d come undone. But Mark reached out and steadied me. Hands the size of dinner plates gripping my arms and keeping me upright. “Easy, Molly, easy.”

I nodded, but her mouth was searing me. Hot wet tongue on my willing pussy. She parted me with her tongue. Licking--Sucking me into her mouth, swirling. Never letting me find a rhythm or keep up with her design. She kept me on edge, swaying drunkenly with the feel of her mouth on me. Then Mark’s mouth was on me. Kissing me. Kissing my lips, my cheeks, my eyelids. His tongue dipping into my mouth, his thumbs brushing over my nipples until my hips took up a chaotic thrust all their own. My pussy bumped against Femme’s mouth, until she grabbed my hips and steadied me.

My lips were bruised, my ears ringing, my tongue brushing against Mark’s until he abandoned my mouth and lowered his tongue to my breasts. Sucking one before the next and back and forth until I fought for air like I was drowning. I fisted my hands in Femme’s hair and she growled. It was a good growl. An excited growl. Mark bent, kissed his wife on the top of her head and then returned to kissing me.

She pushed her fingers deep inside of my pussy, shoving higher and higher until I clutched at Mark’s shirt in desperation. “Go on. Come for her. She totally gets off on it,” he laughed.

So I did. I gave up and let myself drop back fully into my orgasm. Twisting my fingers in the denim shirt he wore, pulling him forward like he could save me from my pleasure.

“Next practice,” he said against my lips. “I get a taste.”

Shhh...I bought the red ones...

But don't tell the man. I really, really, really needed them. And I'm going to have to break it in a special way...ahem. If you get me ;) They are to celebrate. So, celebrate with me! Yay. More on that soon. :)

XOXO
Sommer

Not your average dictionary...

Recently I was sent this sleek, snazzy book. I've spent the last few weeks reading through it nightly when the house finally gets quiet. I sit and sip wine and ignore whatever is on TV and read through the Dictionary of Semenyms by Cecil Goran.

You may not know Cecil, but you certainly have met his alter ego, our own handy, dandy, handsome and knowledgeable The Bearded Confident over at Keep Still. His wit, wisdom and refreshing honesty shine through in this fascinating volume. It's certainly a book to spark thought and conversation. As a writer, when I look at the end result, I see not just a really fun book but an enormous amount of work. It boggles the mind. You'll find over 1,300 synonyms for semen and every single one has an example. Every. Single. One.


Now you might wonder how one could read a whole book based on alternate monikers for semen. So, did I. But now I know~Cecil makes it fun! The book is chock full of wonderful illustrations, tips, sidebars, little known facts and of course colorful, fun, sometimes shocking semenyms...

Some of my favorites include:

magic - a bewitchingly mind-blowing orgasm. "the load of magic erupting from his cock." --Rhyannon Byrd, More Than Magic

cork - something that pops. "Ready to blow your cork, buddy?" --Anonymous

pre-fuck fluid - a natural lubricant; used to associate semen with sex the act "He squeezed the man-cock, forcing more pre-fuck fluid out of it and lapped it up" --Captain Bill

his

- semen belonging to another man. "I swallowed his down." -- J.M. Snyder Shorts

I have to say, I'm also a sucker for a pretty book. Something that is visibly satisfying in my hand and on my shelf. This book is a beautiful volume and I have put it on the shelf of honor above my desk ;)

Now that all of that is said, you want to know where to get your own copy? Just go here. Tell them Sommer sent you.

XOXO
Sommer

um...those are girl jeans...

We freecycle in this house. If we have something that still has life in it but we don't want, we either freecycle it or donate it. Recently, a freecycle WANT ad came through my box. The lady was losing weight (good for her!) but did not have the money to buy new clothes (boo!). I know after two babies (and a persnickety thyroid that I'm still battling) how hard weight loss can be and how good you feel when you've succeeded. No new clothes, blows in my opinion. That is most of the fun of these goals. The goodies.

Anyway, this lady was my current size and I had a ton of really nice stuff I simply do not wear. So I put together a bag and emailed her. I tried to hit casual, dressy, workout etc. She emailed me after pick up to thank me and then a few days later another thanks. Long story short, not long after the exchange I noticed a brand new smoking pair of jeans I had bought with a gift card were gone. I searched high and low and then high again. Hell, I even organized my closet. They were gone.

"I can only figure that I gave them to that lady," I told the man.

"Email her."

"No way. They are awesome jeans and she was probably thrilled and I wouldn't have the heart to ask for them back."

So, last night, here comes boy child down the steps. He's fresh out the shower and in a new change of clothes. "Ma, something up with these jeans. They fit the same up here, but down here they feel tighter than normal."

All the while I'm eyeing him up and down trying to figure out what is off. "Turn around," I said.

He does and as soon as I see the details on the back pockets I squeal, "My jeans! You found my jeans!"

Well the man nearly choked to death laughing, the boy ran upstairs horrified, and I, well I was just thrilled. I have my jeans back!

(as of this morning bus time the boy was nearly over his girl jean/mom jean cootie trauma)

XOXO

Sommer

Pleasurists #44

Ripple Effect II by ~xXTaintedwhispersXx

Pleasurists is a round-up of the adult product and sex toy reviews that came out in the last seven days from bloggers all around the sex blogosphere. Did you miss Pleasurists #43? Read it all here. Do you have a review for Pleasurists #45? Submit it here before Sunday August 30th at 11:59pm PDT. Please re-post this list on your own blog if listed.

Want to win some free swag? All you’ve got to do is enter.

• Get Creative and Win! Deadline: September 4, 2009.
• One Year Anniversary Contest! Deadline: September 4, 2009 11:59pm Eastern.
• BBG’s Big Bad Contest Deadline: September 11, 2009.
• BBG’s Big Bad Contest- The Grand Fucking Prize Deadline: September 12, 2009.
• Anal Pleasure Kit Contest Deadline: September 14th.
• Top Five Tuesday – Win 1000 FREE Porn Minutes Deadline: Tuesday September 29th.

Madame Editrix

Scarlet Lotus St. Syr

Editor’s Pick

• Fresh Chain Leash by AveryDragon

Humiliation on its own seems petty and mean; this I do admit. However, humiliation is the key for lust and passion when the person being humiliated secretly enjoys it. [...] Fresh uses bright pastel colors that a guy might get his girl to ease her into the idea of BDSM by showing it can be cute but still strong. In my case, when there are two guys involved, I make my boy take one for the team and work with products he never dreamed of being in.

On to the reviews…

Vibrators

• G-Twist by Carnivalesq
• I Rub My Fishie by Ginger Leigh
• Armor Piercing Bullet by Sommer Marsden
• Couples Vacation Pleasure Kit by Amorous Rocker
• Nexus G-Play by HotMoviesForHer Sex Toy Crew
• Tongue Joy by HotMoviesForHer Sex Toy Crew
• G-Twist by Essin’ Em
• LELO Mia by Alisa
• California Exotics Intimate Foreplay Kit by Alley

Dildos

• Tantus Feeldoe More by Scarlet Lotus St. Syr

Anal Toys

• Treeze Redwood Medium Tear Drop Plug by Wilhelmina Wang
• B Bomb by Carnivalesq
• Tantus Protouch by Miss KissThis
• Luna by Epiphora
• Tantus Ripple Small by AveryDragon
• Tantus Ripple Large by AveryDragon

Lube, Massage Oil, Bath Stuff, & etc.

• Sliquid Splash Honeydew Cucumber by Melen’s Rayne
• Probe Thick and Rich & Silky Light by ScottA
• Inttimo Shave Creme by The Duchess
• Daring Lemongrass Anal Relaxing Spray by AveryDragon
• Babeland Toy Cleaner by Sexorcism
• Astroglide glycerin and paraben free by Saraid
• Sliquid Splash Fragrance Free by Sexorcism

BDSM/Fetish

• Tantric Satin Ties Pleasure Whip by AveryDragon
• Vibrating Nipple Clamps by Carnivalesq
• KinkLab Spandex Hood with Built-In Blindfold by AveryDragon
• Under the Bed Restraints System by Epiphora

Adult Books

• The Bottoming Book by Essin’ Em
• Female Ejaculation and the G-Spot by Domina Doll

Adult Movies/Porn

• Sexual Sushi by J.D. Bauchery
• Stavros by FrzKey
• San Francisco Lesbians 5 – Scene 1 by The Porn Librarian
• TMSleaze by J.D. Bauchery
• Sweet Summer by J.D. Buachery
• Rough Sex by Epiphora
• Not the Bradys XXX: Marcia, Marcia, Marcia by Domina Doll
• Nina Hartley’s Guide To Great Sex During Pregnancy by Domina Doll

Miscellaneous

• Liberator Stage by Marla Singer St. Syr
• Upstairs Maid Costume by Sleeping Dreamer
• Liberator Fascinator Throe by Domina Doll

Kindled again...

Yay! Femme Fatale is Kindled. Kindled again! (is that like foiled again?)

Either way, it's up. Oh, that sounds dirty too. I am swimming in edits today. Very much looking forward to dinner and wine time and some Primeval: Volume 1 (Series 1 and 2)
on DVD. I am officially hooked on the show. Love the BBC.

Still adjusting to the back to school quietude of my home and talking to the wiener dog more than ever! Though he rarely answers me. Brat.

XOXO

Sommer