Stayed up waaaaay too late watching...

My newest reality TV addiction. Swear to god, Jesse cracks me up. He was a favorite on Workout (another reality TV addiction of mine and I breathlessly await the upcoming season) and is too fucking funny.

Last night's episode featured the Mayor of Beverly Hills. Priceless.

And while I'm here, thanks to Emerald for the heads up that I was excerpted over at Lolita Wolf's blog. What an amazing blog and thanks so much to E :)

I'm working on a book that I hit 45K on and then set it down. Why, I have no clue. I'm proofing the first 135 pages and honestly, I know I wrote it but I love it. It's been so long that it's almost as if I didn't write it, which is fabulous because I'm so objective. And it's good and I'm going to finish it and I must have been high to even set it down. But time has given me perspective so...tada!

Happy Saturday!
XOXO
Sommer

oh my god. made. my. weekend

Yay! Yay! And my god, can I say yay! I think this is possibly one of the warmfuzzyinducingest reviews ever. Base Nature is near and dear to me, because I did wolves my way. The way they were in my head. Which meant not tons and tons of lore and whatnot, but emotions and showing them for what they are (to me), people who feel all we feel but just happen to...you know...become animals sometimes. No big deal ;) heh. I must say, some folks love my wolves,I've gotten some fabulos emails. Some folks...well, they are a bit irate with me because I did not play by what have become "the rules" of werewolves. But I had to be true to my wolves, so there you go.

Thanks for AlexJouJou at Manic Readers for her kind words, she really seemed to get my book. So I thank her. And oh yeah, for the four stars, too. My favorite quote:

"Liv and Garrett make a wonderful couple. Although the romance (and sex!) happens really fast you never feel as if it is rushed or hurried. They fall into each other and you feel as if it is meant to be..."

Fab. U. Lous :)

XOXO
Sommer

very cool...or is it hot?

Pretty cool, and hot too! My story The Known appears in Temptation and my story In The Dark Of Night appears in Kiss In The Dark. Raise your glass (or as it stands right now, your coffee mug) to some dirty, dirty smut releases.

For more info go here. And for a free story go here<---

TGIF! And I sincerely mean that. It's been a pisser of a week and I'm ready! I'm ready to grill tonight, drink ten gallons of wine, watch TV, read, lay on the sofa and watch Supernatural, eat candy and basically dick around for THREE WHOLE DAYS. Woop!

XOXO
Sommer

oh man, i said i'm under the gun...'round here

This is my theme song this week. When I have those white knuckle weeks I usually have Counting Crows playing and this song is a favorite to crank and belt out with a vengeance. Plus the line "She has trouble acting normal when she's nervous" always resonates with me because...I do! X-D

Tonight is a school concert. Two hours. Two. I am so excited that...well, I am not excited at all. I might be if they were, but they are eleven and thirteen and would be rather be hanging out than singing at school. Busy week with lots of ups and downs. But I did take his fatness for a walk today and some guy drove past us and slowed down and looked at me. Made eye contact.

I thought to myself (grateful to him because my ego is fragile lately) that you know a guy thinks you're pretty if he makes eye contact that way. That made me think of something I had seen on TV like...six months ago. Which gave me an idea. Which gelled as we continued our walk and by the time I got home it was solid. And I just started a new book.

Funny how that works. Thank you guy who made eye contact. You made me blush and gave me a great idea for a new book. Tada!

XOXO
Sommer

To Do: Me

Oopsie. I was wrapping something up in my To Do file and found this section chunked out. I never posted it here. It's possibly one of my favorite bits of writing ever. I tell you, I fell in love with Merritt and her men and her drag queens, and yes, her mother in this book. I kind of miss hanging out with them.

Maybe later today on the To Do list will be: ME. Heh. Wish me luck!

XOXO
Sommer

From Calendar Girl by Sommer Marsden

"Sorry about all the drama," I said.

"Hey, I'll never get bored, will I?"

"Not if I'm in a five mile radius." I rubbed with the tips of my fingers and Shane let out a low needy moan. Just then Bubbles reappeared and grinned a candy colored grin.

"Don't let me stop you, kiddies. Go for it." Here are you drinks, the first round are on Cloville, she left word. And she said to tell you, "To watch out for mamma she's three sheets to the wind and ready to climb in the cage."

"Yeah, we see that," I sighed.

"Got it. Don't worry," Bubbles said, leaning in and giving me a shot of colossal cleavage. "I used to be a bouncer. I've got your back."

"Thanks, Bubbles," I said and slid a ten spot in her chesticles. That is Jeffrey's pet name for his 'bosoms' as his grandmother was prone to calling them.

She sauntered off, swinging her hips lavishly while perched atop four inch stacked heels. Something I could never do. The houselights went down, the cages glowed with neon outlines and the stage lights went up. I heard the tell tale traffic whistle and grinned. And the background singers Toot-toot, Beep-beep...and then there he was. My Jeffrey, my Cloville. "Bad girls..." and he launched into the most kick ass Donna Summers impression ever.

I was singing along, touching Shane with one hand, watching my mother with one eye. Talk about being distracted. Jack gyrated in his blue neon cage and my mother started doing hand gestures as she sang. Bad Girls had played in our house back in the day. My parents had been pretty good with a variety of music. I was a bit too young to remember Donna in her heyday but I certainly knew her music. And I remembered my brother Jack doing a stellar lip synch to this song.

Jack shook his tush, my mother did traffic cop gestures, I swigged my surfer and Jeffrey broke out in a damn good disco queen dance move, his purple and sliver jumpsuit throwing off sparks of light from the glitter ball that turned just for him.

"Awesome," I whispered and Shane leaned in close, his face dappled by the funky techno light, and he kissed me, running his big hands up the front of my jean legs.

We faced each other at an odd angle, but I scootched in closer, hugged him close and he put his hands on my waist, his lips in my hair. God, the man smelled better than any human had a right to.

His lips crushed down on mine and I was just losing myself in the kiss when he said: "Uh-oh."

"No, no, uh-oh," I said.

Jeffrey and his backup girls had hit the talking part of the song where Donna, aka bad girl, is carted off. I would not look. I would. Not. Look.

I looked. "Oh shit."

My mother was climbing–yes, climbing–onto her table and into Jack's cage. My brother was torn and even in the strange, glittery sci-fi light, I could see his panic. His painted eyes flew wide and his shimmy jittered and his shake stalled and then he stared at me. At me!

I shook my head.

Jack kept dancing but now my mother was doing a stuttering bump and grind, disco queen gone bad kind of dance. Cloville waved a hand at me. It looked like part of his act, but it wasn't. It was the handle it hand and I mouthed, "No."
I turned to Shane. If I kept kissing him, then I would not see the obvious destruction and scarring for life that was about to rain down on us like the apocalypse. At least that's how it felt.

But Shane was no good. Shane had that same look you get when you pass a really bad accident. Mouth open, eyes fixed, thousand yard stare, pulse barely visible at his throat. The song was winding down and I had to do something.

"Fine! Fine, fine, fine, it's me. Again! Always me. Me, me, me," I muttered and grumbled. I stood, smoothed my red tunic over my jeans and stalked over to the cage. It was about three feet off the floor and swinging madly as it was made for one man in a dress not a man in spandex and his mother. I grabbed the lip of the door shaped hole in the thing and yanked. The cage–only meant to hold one gyrating person–dipped and swayed wildly and my mother and brother both let out horrible shrieks like exotic jungle birds.

My foot found a chair and then a table and I sort of stumble-fell-sank into the cage that actually groaned.

Jeffrey was wrapping up his song but even over the din I heard a collective gasp from the audience. And then, "Put your helmets on, people." I was pretty sure that was Bubbles.

"Mother, get out of the cage," I hissed. But it was really more of a yell because it was so fucking loud in the joint.

"I want to be with my baby," she said. Okay, so I could totally hear the slur in her voice. And I could also see the tears in her eyes and I half wanted to hug her and tell her it would be all right and half wanted to cold-cock her so I could haul her bony ass out of the alarmingly pitching cage.

"I know, Ma. I know. Come on, I'm your baby, too, come be with me."

My mother fixed her glazed, inebriated gaze on me and God love him Jack never missed a pelvic thrust or shoulder shimmy. He was going to dance come Hell or high water. With his mother and sister in the cage or not. Only I could see that up close his eyes shone with pent up tears and his jaw was so tight he could have cracked walnuts in his teeth.

"But you are too busy giving that nice young man a hand job under the table."

My mouth popped open but Jack's laughter came out. Now he was crying but it was because he was laughing so damn hard. Jeffrey bowed and left the stage and someone queued the techno dance music. Jack started to dance faster.

"It…I…Mother! It was not a hand job. I was rubbing his…thigh."

"Hmm. He has three thighs?" my mother giggled.

My brother was now clutching the woven edges of the bobbing cage but still shaking his ass. That twit. "Mother! Come with me. Come on, I'll buy you a drink."

Jack shook his head and I shushed him. For Pete's sake. I wasn't really going to buy her a drink. And then all hell broke loose and we were surrounded by security, three burly drag queens, a pissed off Jeffrey, a giggling Bubbles and Lord have mercy on him, Shane.

My mother finally took stock of all the hoopla and snorted. "Fine. You people are so dramatic," she said and did her best at a classy and dainty almost-exit from the cage. I say almost-exit because we both had one foot out of the structure when the chain that held it groaned and then the whole fucking support snapped and we were a cage full of screaming Mimi's falling to earth.

So behind...heh, I said behind ;)

Latest SGP releases include Housewarming, It's All Relative, School Days and The Bottle Tree. I've been putting them out slowly but forgetting to say. Things are busy here at Smut Girl headquarters. So, it's not Tada! they're all there. More like: Tada! I'm just remembering to say it!

All titles can be found at the usual suspects (places). All Romance Ebooks, Bookstrand, Spastic Girl Press, Kindle etc., so on and so forth.

My week is slowly winding down. Hope to be around a bit more again soon! :)

XOXO

Sommer

Our dirty little Burb...

How cool is this? The sinfully talented Willsin Row decided to do this trailer/movie for us. The Dirtyville and Kinkyville crews are all atwitter. I wanted to do it justice by running it here.

Since I'll be sketchy the next few days, I figured I'd leave you something amusing to look at while I run in and out like a loon.

XOXO
Sommer

Sunday...

Food Porn/Girl Crush

I've recently become addicted to the Neelys on The Food Network. One because Pat and Gina are so cute together, two because everything they say can be interpreted by yours truly as sex talk (to the point that the man will yell, "FOOD PORN'S ON!" and I will come running) and three because I think Gina Neely is probably the cutest little mouthful out there.

She's adorable and bubbly and funny and she isn't afraid to say what she's thinking. Even if it's kind of dirty, heh. And in a world of extremes I think she's about the perfect woman. Not too skinny, not too heavy. Curvy and with a nice little softness around the waist to hold onto and some junk in the trunk and...yes, girl crush. She's perfect. And she can cook. What more can you ask for?

I think I'd have to fight Pat for her, though. I also think we might have ribs tonight...

XOXO
Sommer

Unforgettable...that's what you are...

[Cross-posted from Dirtyville Collection Blog]


To one of the 'Ville's very own. Emma Hillman's one of Seriously Reviewed's Seriously Unforgettable. Stories you just can't shake from your sexy thoughts for 2010. Huzzah, Emma, congrats! :)

XOXO
Sommer

no expectations...at all

Ugh. Started with a funky sore throat last night. This morning it was hanging around with a vengeance. No run today :( but did take his fatness for a walk. I'm having one of those slow moving days. But I did manage to grab the much coveted Tell-All so at least while I'm moving slow, I'll have something kick ass to read.

Also, I have decided I am officially not training for a 5K. I have NO EXPECTATIONS in my running beyond running. Why am I telling you this? Because I realized the moment I started running again a) I was psyched, b) I immediately started telling myself I need to do this...I need to do that...I need to go this fast..., and then c) I felt overwhelmed. So, I am announcing my official non-training program so I have at least said it aloud. I'm running to run. Period. (And some days I'm just shuffling with intent, staggering with hope...it's not even really running.)

Happy Friday, Y'all.

XOXO
Sommer

thank you thank you thank you!

To all of you who emailed, commented, twittered etc good thoughts yesterday for me and my nephew and the whole damn crew. Much, much appreciated and I'm very grateful. Update on him: he's doing much, much better today. A bit grumpy and surly and driving his mother bonkers. Just the way we like him!

If you're wondering about that picture, it's my day to blog over at Excessica. I don't know if you can call it a blog...more of me shooting off my big mouth. Shooting. Heh. Is that a gun in your pocket or are you just happy to see me???--->more of that high brow humor here.

XOXO
Sommer

whatever you got...i'll take

I just got in from the emergency care place. My nephew, who is one year older than boy child, had a very bad reaction to some meds. And scared the shit out of his old aunt and his mother and his grandmother and everyone else in a ten mile radius. He's still not himself and I still feel like I swallowed a live electrical wire. I can only imagine what my sister-in-law feels like. So if you pray, I'd love some prayers. If you think good thoughts, I'll take those too. If you dance in a circle naked in the moonlight, sold. Basically, whatever you got...I'll take on his behalf.

I have an eclectic (at best) spiritual base and I've studied lots of different religions. I tend to lean Native American and take what I can use from a spiritual practice and blow the rest away with a breath of kindness. One thing I do believe across the board is that if people focus their energy in a positive way on a goal or a person it creates an effect. A positive effect.

I'd appreciate it if you take a moment to think kindly of my nephew and wish him well.

XOXO

Sommer

p.s. that's the lady in our garden's spring portrait. she always makes me peace in my heart when i look at her. i'm going to go look at her for a few hours now. ;)

Is it humid today or is it just my hair?

I've slept for shite the last few nights. The other night I dreamt my mother-in-law (who I adore and is one of my favorite people on earth ever) had a party and forced me and only me to go to another woman's party. Last night I tossed and turned and then I tossed some more and at one point I did the electric boogalo. I think at this point I'd hurt someone just to close my eyes and sleep like the dead for roughly six to eight hours.

Anyway, I'm about to wrap up a book and the mental soundtrack I've got going on is totally 80's--this seemed appropriate. My god. I remember when this video was cutting edge. Now...now I see a bunch of guys with HUGE HAIR walking like they haven't been oiled yet this week and a bunch of women in their skivvies. But I still love it. Ha!

XOXO
Sommer

Sommer's Coming...

Wait. I wrote that wrong. I always do. heh. What I mean is, summer is coming and it's May. In honor of swiftly approaching lazy hazy days and the masturbation month, I put Dirtyville and Kinkyville on sale only at Bookstrand and ARe. If you go anywhere else, you won't get your smoking hot bargain. You go there and...hey, I'll take care of you real good. ;)

XOXO
Sommer

It's Still Masturbating May!

Forgive me but I actually took the weekend off (I heard you gasp. I was gasping too! (O_O) ). A lot going on here at casa de crazy. It's Monday and it's still May which means masturbation which means...um...yay? Yes, yay Masturbating May (at least that's what I say)! Before this sounds any more like an X-rated Dr. Seuss blog, I'll just put a rerun of a favorite vibe review. I still have this pretty, handy dandy, small but powerful vibe and it's still a favorite.

XOXO
Sommer



My Dirty Monday: TLC Marble Vibe Kandia Red

Love, love, love this vibe. Did you hear? I love it.

I forget sometimes when it comes to sex toys KISS. Keep it simple sister (am being nice). This is as simple as it gets. Five inches, two batteries (not included), variable speed, water resistant. All that smushed together with some very good orgasms equals, I recommend you buy one.

I fell in love with its looks, I'll admit. It is beautiful. The dense red marbled looks really turned me on. But then I tried it out and it really turned me on. Then...I read the adorable poem on the back of the box (box was even gorgeous) that told me I could take it in the shower and well, that sealed the deal.

This is now the go to vibrator. Good for alone time, travel time, or the night where you and your man are feeling playful and you can bring it in on the action. Man, woman and machine (or whatever combo you have worked out in your dirty little head). This vibe has now taken first place (so far). Yes, yes, I love Mr. Blue Vein but I have to give credit where credit is do and this is a love affair that can't be rivaled. Well...yet. There are still a lot of sex toys out there to be tested so let's just say I'll keep you posted.

Final Verdict: you need one. Inexpensive, fairly quiet, pretty to look at, plays well with others. Buy it! Buy one for you or for him or for her. Hell, buy a few and give them out for the holidays. Now wouldn't that be a holiday to remember?

XOXO
Sommer
*Sex toys provided by SexToy.com home of the biggest selection of vibrators online

Listen up Ass-Butt

I can't find a clippety doo for last night. But Supernatural fans, how kick ass was last night? How fine? Even sick I was loving every minute of it. That's right "Ass-butt", it rocked. Literally.

The boy child is addicted to this song, scouring my music for the Kansas CD and making notes for me to find the Def Leppard CD. Heh. Funny.

XOXO
Sommer

"Sommer Marsden delivers again..."

me and my sexy angel Alex Church have received four stars from Manic Reviews reviewer Cheryl.

To read the full review fly this way...for the full heavenly scoop.

XOXO

Sommer

bubus and fckupz

I'm working on a guest blog at the moment and have decided to collect some stellar typoes...urm, typos. If you have any--yours or found ones--send them to me! If I use them, I'll give you a shout out in the blog.

Now I must go and let my ginertips do the walking. When you can't find a fingertip, a ginertip will work in a pinch (that is my own personal favorite all time best typo ever and I do it...uh...a lot, if you must know!)

Sned your bubus and fckupz to hot4sommer at yahoo dot com.

XOXO

Sommer

awesome charm heer!

Pleasurists #77

More Robin by carvenaked

Welcome to Pleasurists, a round-up of the adult product and sex toy reviews that came out in the last seven days. For updates and information follow our RSS Feed and Twitter.

Did you miss Pleasurists #76? Read it all here. Do you have a review for Pleasurists #78? Be sure to read our submission guidelines and then use our submission form and submit it before Sunday May 16th at 11:59pm PDT.

Want to win some swag? All you’ve got to do is enter.

• Win Your Very Own We-Vibe! Deadline: May 13th.
• Squeeze Some VixSkin! Deadline: May 13th @ 11:59pm Pacific.
• Giveaway: $25 Gift Card from EdenFantasys Deadline: May 16th @ 8pm Eastern.
• Aqua Rabbit Giveaway Deadline: May 16th @ 11pm Eastern.
• Summer is Cumming Giftcard Giveaway Deadline: May 22nd.
• $300 Shopping Spree Deadline: May 31st.
• Win a Bliss 3 Mini Vibe Deadline: May 31st @ 11:59pm Eastern.
• Win a Bride-to-Be Collection Deadline: May 31st @ 11:59pm Eastern.
• Win A Premium Toy Set AND A Free Session With Dr. Ruthie Deadline: May 31st.
• Enter to Win an Incoqnito Lambskin Collar! Deadline: May 31st @ 11am Central.
• TabuToys.com Erotic Story Contest Deadline: June 1st.
• Vamp Giveaway Deadline: June 1st.

Looking for sexy posts other than reviews?

e[lust] #13

Editor

Scarlet Lotus St. Syr

On to the reviews…

Vibrators

• Ophoria Beyond 1 by Essin’ Em
• Ophoria Beyond 1 by Sommer Marsden
• LELO Mia by Mistress Kay
• I Rub My Duckie Pirate and Video Review by Sammi
• Onye Fleur by Mistress Kay
• G-Ki by True Pleasures
• G-Swirl by namelesschaos
• Close2you Harmonia by Tonia
• Fun Factory Ellove by Kaijah
• Fun Factory Ellove by Marilyn
• Dinky Digger II by Mistress Kay
• Couture Collection Inspire by namelesschaos
• Fairy Wand by Britni TheVadgeWig
• The Cone by Saraid
• Babelight by Sammi
• Babelight by Sea of Neptune
• Babelight by Nanny
• Babelight by Pretty Power Tools
• LELO Mona by Carrie Ann
• Nubby G by Alan & Michele
• Rock Chick by Garnet Joyce
• Rock Chick by Carrie Ann
• Perfect Pet by Jessie Beth
• Perfect Pet by Red Vinyl Kitty
• Vida Vanta by Carrie Ann
• Mystic Wand by Dr. Ruthie
• Tulip Wand by Sammi
• Vibrator Upgrade Kit by Pretty Power Tools
• OhMiBod Club Vibe by Jonsbabydoll
• OhMiBod Club Vibe by Jess Manifesto
• We-Vibe II by Toy With Me
• Radio Love by Joanna Cake
• Fun Factory Paul & Paulina by Pretty Power Tools

Dildos

• Tantus Vamp by Scarlet Lotus St. Syr
• Vixen Maverick by Epiphora
• Njoy Eleven by Sammi
• Nobessence Intrigue by Carrie Ann
• Hardwood Dildos #507 by Toys in Love
• Vixen Creations Mistress by Wilhelmina Wang
• Athena by Tuesday
• Feeldoe by Carrie Ann
• Sedeux Glam by JonsBabydoll
• Wall Banger by Mystress Lady Evyl
• Rose Gspotter by Jonsbabydoll
• Tantus Compact by Missy
• Rascal Toys Brandon Lee by Pretty Power Tools

Anal Toys

• Moonlight Serenade Kit by Mistress Kay
• Tantus Ripple by True Pleasures
• Sidekick 1 by Rayne
• Sidekick by HotMoviesForHer Sex Toy Crew
• Tantus Dipper by Britni TheVadgeWig
• California Exotics Aluminum Mini by Isabel0329
• Handmaiden by Scintillectual

Lube, Massage Oil, Bath Stuff, & etc.

• Babeland’s Organic Massage Oil by Jessie Beth
• Wet Platinum by Mistress Kay
• System JO Silicone & H2O by Cooper
• Fresh Balls by Isabel0329
• Intimate Organics’ Body Souffle & Foot Foreplay Lotion by Marilyn
• Jimmyjane Contour M by Pretty Power Tools

BDSM/Fetish

• Singapore Stinger II by Wilhelmina Wang
• KinkAcademy.com by Mistress Kay
• Spartacus Locking Ankle Restraints by Rayne
• Strict Leather Deluxe Locking Wrist Restraints by Rayne
• Spartacus Collar with Bondage Ring by Rayne
• Sportsheets Deluxe Door Jam Cuffs by Cooper
• Sportsheets Heart Impressions Crop by Pretty Power Tools

Adult Books/Games

• Afternoon Delight by Sammi
• Afternoon Delight by Alan & Michele
• Bad Boyfriend Voodoo Doll by Muffyspingulove

Adult Movies & Porn

• Seven Minutes in Heaven 3 by Epiphora
• Fluid: Men Redefining Sexuality by Jessie Beth
• Fluid: Women Redefining Sexuality by Jessie Beth
• Speakeasy by Garnet Joyce
• Going Down: The Official Guide to Cunnilingus by Red Vinyl Kitty
• My Personal Slave Justine by FrzKey
• Open Invitation: A Real Swinger’s Party in San Francisco by J.D. Bauchery
• Gold Bird by FrzKey
• Evil Pink 2 (Disc 1) by J.D. Bauchery
• This Isn’t Max Hardcore: A Femdom Parody by FrzKey

Storage

• Tunti Illuminating Boudoir Toy Case by True Pleasures
• The Original ToiBocks by Splendwhore

Lingerie

• Demi cup bra and panty set by Amanda
• Cocktail Party Collar and Cuffs by Sammi

Miscellaneous

• Clone-a-Willy Kit by Mystress Lady Evyl
• Clone-a-Willy Kit by Pretty Power Tools
• Mystic Wand G-Spot Attachment by Dr. Ruthie
• Mystic Wand Attachment by Pretty Power Tools
• Vibrating Corsette Harness by Carrie Ann
• Heart Harness by Pretty Power Tools
• Smartballs by Jonsbabydoll

mother of the year...

So I watched this with my kids last night. Actually, the man was in the background laughing his ass off too. Clearly I was remembering the edited version the man and I saw on Comedy Central one night where they bleeped it, but by the time it dawned on me it was too late. The boy child was wheezing he was laughing so hard and girl child was weeping with laughter. So we rode this fucker out and watched it uncensored and then I pretended we never did. What video? What milk? Water? What? What?

XOXO
Sommer

"All the things we dirty girls love..."

[cross posted from The Dirtyville Collection blog]

First review is in and it is...good! (that was a sports announcer voice, did anyone get that?)

Read the whole review at Seriously Reviewed.

XOXO
Sommer

Because my kids and my man...

are just that cool. New Vans because I killed the old ones. I admit it, the red got me. Love, love, love the red.

Oh and wine.

Happy Mother's Day to all you bad muthas (shut your mouth!) and bad means good just like phat doesn't mean fat it means good.

Ya dig?

XOXO
S

Mmm...look at that seksi man on kindle!

Off to a Mother's Day shindig. Just wanted to show my hot Sensitive angel boy since I just found him over there on Amazon. :)

Have a great one.

XOXO
Sommer

yay and woohoo and also whoopeeee!

I have not said a word and not said a word and not said a word for ages now! Years! Okay, not years, months. But trust me, if your mouth is as big and active as mine, that is a lot of non-word-saying.

Since this spiffy box of books came today and I finally found this on amazon, I can say: In September my book Coupling: Filthy Erotica for Couples will be out from eXcessica (print and ebook). And some of my favorite folks are in it. There's Alison Tyler and Jeremy Edwards and P.S. Haven and William Patrick Tandy and Craig Sorensen and...gasp.

More soon. I have to go put my head between my legs and try and breathe. They're just so pretty I got all dizzy and whanot.

Wooo and also hooooo!

XOXO

Sommer

I forgot...

Last night we were watching Jeopardy! and during a commercial break somehow something provoked me to bring up sex. Pre-the-man sex. I cannot for the life of me remember what provoked the statement(because I am senile) but I said something like, "Before you when I would..."

And he looked up at me with a really odd look and I said "What?"

He shook his head. One short, quick shake.

So I said, "Anyway, before you when I---"

And he said (and I quote) "La-la-la-la. I don't need to know this. You were a virgin when you met me." In fifteen years this has never been an issue. Pre-me sex, pre-him sex. But he's recently turned 45 and I am stumbling, shuffling, staggering toward 40 and...NOW he is pretending. Which cracks me the fuck up.

"That's right. I forgot," I said.

"Good girl."

XOXO
Sommer
p.s. fab art is here

stolen dirty, dirty tapas...

[cross-posted from Dirtyville Collection blog...hence the stolen ;]



little bite-sized morsels of a just a few of our stories. I've chosen little nibbles roughly 100 words or less. More to come, so keep your wine, beer or adult beverage of your choice handy. Or just Kool Aid if you prefer. Doesn't really matter. ;)

These are all from Dirtyville. Stay tuned...

XOXO
Sommer





Bulldozers and Communion
by P.S. Haven

My first post-Helen cock went like this: Chico’s vet. He was ten years younger than me, but he always flirted. I had always discounted it, written it off as flattery meant to keep a middle-aged man coming back for more heartworm prescriptions for his decrepit Chihuahua. But as I was walking out with Chico tucked under my arm, I thanked Dr. Wheeler politely and popped into my mouth one of the plastic-wrapped suckers he kept in a little basket on his counter.

Dr. Wheeler said, “Lucky sucker.”

~~~~

Grip
by City Different

Well–forgive the nostalgia–I’ve fucked a lot of women, loved two or three, forgotten most. But ever since I was a kid, growing up in that little town where so much that makes us human was taboo, the simple, gentle intimacy of a girl slipping her hand into mine, interlacing fingers, giving a silent, urgent squeeze, has been enough to pitch me headlong into a gnawing, aching want.

~~~~

Red Light, Green Light
by Cora Zane

She sat knock-kneed on the bench seat, displaying the crotch of her white cotton panties. Hazel eyes gleamed with amusement as she drew the crotch aside, giving him a delectable view of her pussy.

She was shaven and glistening wet, and when she rubbed a slow circle over her hard little clit, heat gathered in his face.

“Oh hell…” he murmured, struggling to keep his eyes on the road. He reached out and slid his fingers through her wetness. When she groaned, tilting her hips so his finger slipped inside, he cursed under his breath.

~~~~

Not Of This Place
by Willsin Rowe

I stripped and fell beside her, found her fingers where I thought they’d be. Sweat clung resolutely to our bodies even under the fierce cold of the air conditioner. Dad’s voice boomed downstairs and I swore I could smell his breath. I’d never truly believed this party was for me.

Kylie slipped her hand free of mine. She curled it around me like a python and I hissed in sympathy. She rolled up against me, her weightless smile as open as if we were just going swimming. She smoothed her mouth over my cheek, like a greeting, but then kept it there while her hand squeezed me.

fangs for the review...

heh. i crack myself up. thanks to vampiress for the fangs and the nice words about BASE NATURE. now i want a bloody mary for some reason...

xoxo

sommmer

about last night...

I said I would not have sex until after the specialist appointment next week, from fear not instruction. But damn. It is hard to say no to him. And he's sick not dead. And there is something to be said for that kind of sex. Sweet and intense and life affirming. A little more rocking and closeness and pressed chest to chest and a little less acrobatics. A few more words and affirmations of affection and loyalty and passion and a lot more kissing and two heartbeats mashed together and...I said I wouldn't do it but I did. And I don't regret it. And it's his fault anyhow. That's my story and I'm sticking to it...

XOXO
Sommer

Pleasurists #76

Negligee 4 via Alivya by Pirate Photography

Welcome to Pleasurists, a round-up of the adult product and sex toy reviews that came out in the last seven days. For updates and information follow our RSS Feed and Twitter.

Did you miss Pleasurists #75? Read it all here. Do you have a review for Pleasurists #77? Be sure to read our submission guidelines and then use our submission form and submit it before Sunday May 2nd at 11:59pm PDT.

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Looking for sexy posts other than reviews?

e[lust] #12

Editor

Scarlet Lotus St. Syr

On to the reviews…

Vibrators

• Nomi Tang’s Better than Chocolate by Scarlet Lotus St. Syr
• California Exotics Couture Collection Sublime by Rayne
• Rascal O2 by Sammi
• LELO Iris by Beautiful Dreamer
• Mantric Siena Rondo by Rayne
• We-Vibe II by Mistress Kay
• Pirates Pendant by Sammi
• Fun Factory Gigolo by Rayne
• Touche Vibrating Ice Massager by Mistress Kay
• Legamento by HotMoviesForHer Sex Toy Crew
• Mini G-Rock by Jessie Beth
• California Exotics Symphony by Alley
• Sexy Bunny by Alley
• Fun Factory Bubbles by Alley
• G-Ki by Mistress Kay
• Treeze Wave by Marilyn
• Symphony Massager by Mistress Kay
• OhMiBod Club Vibe by Red Vinyl Kitty
• California Exotics Sweet Dreams by Jessie Beth
• Fun Factory Scorpio by Missy
• Evolved Serenity by Holly
• Babelight by Red Vinyl Kitty

Dildos

• Doc Johnson Glass Dreams Smooth Waves by Rayne
• Rose G-Spotter by Sammi

Anal Toys

• Nexus Gyro by Scarlet Lotus St. Syr
• Nexus Vibro by Toys in Love
• Tantus B-Bomb by Beautiful Dreamer
• Tantus Ryder by Wilhelmina Wang
• Tantus Spiral by namelesschaos
• Tantus Ripple by Red Vinyl Kitty
• Crystal Delights Plug Small by Britni TheVadgeWig
• Moonlight Serenade Anal Kit by Alan & Michele

Toys for Cocks

• Tenga Double Hole by True Pleasures
• Fujiko’s Velvet Touch Masturbator by Jessie Beth
• Sizuru Stretchy Ribbed Masturbator by Nixie
• Sonic Ring Kit by Red Vinyl Kitty

Lube, Massage Oil, Bath Stuff, & etc.

• BabeLube by Jessie Beth
• System JO Flavored Lubes by Cooper
• Coochy Creme by Jessie Beth
• Durex Play O by Joanna Cake

BDSM/Fetish

• Red Heart Wrist Restraints by Scarlet Lotus St. Syr
• SportSheet Bed Restraints by Juliettia
• Silk Sashay Blindfold by HotMoviesForHer Sex Toy Crew
• Fleece-lined Cuffs with Scalloped Edges by Essin’ Em
• Bondage Tape by Mistress Kay
• Belladonna’s Tie Me, Spank Me & Fuck Me Kit by Sommer Marsden

Adult Books/Games

• Toygasms! by Mistress Kay
• Dr. Anne Katz’ Woman Cancer Sex by Dr. Ruthie
• “I Dare You” Game by Alan & Michele

Adult Movies & Porn

• Joy of Massage DVD and Massage Oil Kit by Mistress Kay
• NoFauxxx Roulette by Angel deSanguine
• Crash Pad Series – Episode 20: Leg’s Solo by The Porn Librarian
• Anticipation by FrzKey
• E for Eva by The Porn Librarian
• Guerilla Porno by J.D. Bauchery
• Minute Man 30 – Tough by The Porn Librarian
• The Surrender of O by Mistress Kay

Storage

• Phallix Pleasure Pouch by Kynky Kytty

Lingerie

• Bow Mesh Corset by Sarahbear
• Turquoise Chiffon Babydoll by Sea of Neptune

Miscellaneous

• Tenga Hole Warmer by True Pleasures
• LELO Luna Beads by Marilyn
• Fun Factory Smartballs by Kynky Kytty